Thursday 18 August 2011

Catechism of Cliché II

Nobody can do it as well as Brian O'Nolan. But it's tempting to try - especially in a week of riots and politicians' buzz-word bingo.

When people take to the streets, what does the government call for? Restraint. Or if things get worse, it urges it. And what kind of violence was perpetrated? Mindless violence. Things are called where? Into question. And whither are they thrown? Into disarray. What kind of speculation was prompted? It was frenzied. And how shall we exploit the situation? Ruthlessly. What kind of fearful people will this situation not suit? The faint-hearted. This unseasonable weather, how would you describe it? Chilly. Is that the best you can do? Oh, it’s decidedly chilly.

What kind of factions are causing the trouble? Warring factions. How would you describe their rise? It was inexorable. How was the question contested? Hotly. And how was the outcome anticipated? Eagerly. What kind of a liar was he? He was accomplished. Don’t forget your handbag – it looks really capacious!

More clichés here.

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