Monday, 30 November 2015

Hey, guys, it's nearly 2016!

Warburton's sandwich thins

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol

Hey guys – it’s nearly 2016 and people are still trophy hunting?

The UK doesn’t have a classic movies cable TV channel.

It’s OK to make fun of grannies and opera singers. See the Advertising Standards Authority advert about Irene and her bridge partner. And Carbuyer's “Would you ask your neighbour Petulia?” (She says that hybrid cars are good for azaleas and whales - and this is supposed to be hilarious.)

It’s OK to make jokes about ugly spinsters (that ad for Warburton's Sandwich Thins).

‏And there are still some people who think rape just never happens.
And another lot who think women claim to have been raped to gain attention, and for the “excitement”.
And those who accuse the famous of abusing them as children just want attention and money.
And there are still some people who think brown people should go somewhere else.
And another lot of people who think feminists have nothing to worry about.
And yet another lot who don’t understand racism and think slaves in the South were well-treated. And some who think black people or “foreigners” aren't Americans.
And any refugees who aren’t from Syria are economic migrants (who just happen to be fleeing war zones in Libya and Eritrea).
And some people are still complaining that “a kid is a baby goat – it’s ‘children’ not ‘kids’”.
And people still think biodynamics is organic farming, and homeopathy is herbalism.
And they think living together gives you legal and financial rights. It hasn’t since 1753. Yes, 1753.

It's nearly 2016 and there’s an evil worldwide cabal persuading the unfortunate that the answer lies within themselves and that pointing the finger at recessions, wars and unequal societies is just failing to stand on your own two feet and blaming others for your problems. Think positive! Or we’ll take your benefits away!

And I get personal abuse and bullying online if I say I’ve been bullied in the past, if I criticise British private schools, if I suggest that we should be kind to children, if I suggest that lying is wrong – and just for being a socialist, a feminist and a woman. (I’m pathetic, pretentious and paranoid and blame all my problems on others, apparently.) Oh, and for talking back and calling people Tories and mansplainers. They can dish it out, but they can’t take it.

Asked to explain his gender parity promise, Justin Trudeau answered: "Because it’s 2015".

In 2015... Mum thrown out of Grays Job Centre for breastfeeding her 13-week-old daughter (Nov, @imajsaclaimant)

American bishop says gay people should be sentenced to 10 years hard labour – in 2014! 2014, guys!

That in 2015 Lindsey Graham has to explain that he's not a "defective person" for being single is madness. (M. v. Aufschnaiter ‏@mva_1000)

A paediatrician was locked out of a women’s changing room at a gym because everyone with the title Dr was automatically registered as male. [She was told] “the system couldn’t be changed and she’d have to drop her title”. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is 2015!... (stefano mariani ‏@stefanako71)

Welcome to 2015, folks! Ohio class teaches children that men think, women feel. (‏@JessicaValenti )

It's 2015 why are things like "gay" and "lesbian" used as insults? (@BewitchingMind)

I've said it before but I'll say it again, if you can't or don't want to be monogamous then you don't have to pretend to be, it's 2015. (Amy ‏@bottrill Feb 23)

It's 2015 and straight people use the word "gay" as an insult. Get a time machine and step your ignorant asses out of the 1970s. (@OutrageousBSFan Feb 21)

Yes, yes, sometimes women propose, but it's pretty much always the guys (happy 2015 everyone). (

Rick Santorum arguing that religious prejudice should be protected in law. #CNNDebate It's 2015 in the most advanced country in the world. (Matt D ‏@EyesSkyward)

From today's Daily Mail. Actual, proper, racist blackface cartoon faces. In other news, it's 2015. (@pointlesslettrs)

It's 2015. Why am I having to explain to people that falsely attributing words to a Rothschild to explain the Greek crisis is anti-Semitic? (Damian Counsell ‏@DamCou)

Gawd, I hate that as a 45 year old man, living in 2015, I STILL have to be concerned about race and some "them -vs- us" bullshit. (FB)

Chelsea racist abuse victim: 'It's 2015 and we are talking about black and white skin. Why?'

It's 2015 and let's face it, we really haven't solved the problem of wobbly cafe tables. (@MarkSReynolds Mar 29)

Miss France visits the Lille stand at Mipim. What decade is this? March 2015 (@_SamJacob)

It's 2015 and I'm watching a sewing contest on television. This is basically stuff we'd joke about being on telly in the 16th century. (@djplastician)

It's 2015 and the word "autistic" is still a novelty in the speech of morons everywhere. (@alexthesmart_)

There’s a café in Wolverhampton that won’t let you take coffee out.

Optimise for tablet, pessimise for desktop. It's nearly 2016 and technology is going backwards – and some people haven't caught up with the 21st century.

Improvements that aren’t: Web pages no longer have print-friendly (no ads, no comments) versions. And they make it very hard to select the text of an article (so that you can cut and paste it into a Word doc and print that). And some pages aren't printable at all. There’s no point giving us “content” if we can’t read it.

There’s no way of adding a note to a photo on camera or phone.

And why does “shuffle” not shuffle my tracks randomly? Instead, it picks out the ones I’ve played recently.

If you want to review a book in Goodreads, you have to rate it. There is no button saying "Write a review".

Google have “updated” maps so that they are less useful than the classic version, and won’t give us access to the classic version. The map with the yellow dude is too small – though it is easier to move the him around now. When you look for a street it comes up in the centre of the map – but there’s no arrow pointing to it. And not all the streets are labelled. How do you find your street? They obviously don’t want you to.

Twitter returns me to the top of my timeline if I retweet, or click on a commented tweet. Why don’t commented tweets open in a new tab, like everything else? And why can’t I select the text to cut and paste? And why can’t I select the text if someone has posted a positive affirmation as a picture? Why am I having to retype it? Why am I retyping anything - in 2015? And why doesn’t Twitter have an edit button? And automatic emojis?

How can Twitter not know that a timeline is chronological?

Oh and Facebook, I want to see latest, not top stories. I don’t want to see “top stories” ever. Couldn’t I make it stick at “latest”? Somehow?

If I’m not careful, Spotlight opens the last file I searched for, instead of the one it just found for me.

Could you give us a little more time to get to the phone before it goes to voicemail, or count out our change before feeding it into the self-checkout? Where’s my robot pavement cleaner? Where’s my key combo to take me to the top/bottom of a web page?

And my clock radio is too quiet.

And no, I don’t want to search for the words I just searched for – I want to change them slightly. And when I search for a picture of Grays bus station I don’t want the train station...

And where's the online version of the Fortean Times?

And Word, I never want to default to “Times”. Ever, ever, ever. Why can’t cut and paste adopt the style of the document I am pasting to, rather than the one I’ve taken the words from? And why does that darned Times font keep appearing no matter how often I change the default font to Trebuchet? (Will setting it as a new style work?)

And please open files where they were when I last worked on them, like you used to. And I used to be able to move to another file by clicking on it anywhere – now I can only click on the top bar. And the new file opens underneath the one I'm working on, so that I can't even see it. I opened that file because I want to use it. I want to use both files at once.

Is there any way I can search in French AND English in Google Chrome? And is there some way I can stop it translating my French results into English? Do I have to tell it I’m in Paris?

Nurse at hospital says she “can’t” email my GP but must send them a letter. And if I have the blood test done at the GP’s surgery they “can’t” send the results to the hospital.

It used to be easy to follow a blog – there was a button at the top saying “follow”. Now everyone uses a different system and puts the button in a different place. But I can't unfollow anybody.

And I have just downloaded 40 MP3s from Amazon one by one, because if I batch download them they turn into a Zip file that I can’t open.

Many organisations have an email address but have failed to employ anyone to read, filter and answer emails.

I can’t log into my Gmail account, and apparently neither can anyone else. (Sept 2015)

And my new Virgin Media TV remote doesn’t have page up/page down buttons.

And you can’t sort columns alphabetically in Woodwing.

Changing your address or personal details for your account is easy. Just download the form below, fill it in, sign it and post it to your local branch. (RBS)

Unfortunately we cannot accept emailed copies of the form, you will need to post it to us using the Freepost address which can be found on page 5.

Just had the raw urge to cancel an appearance because they want me to mail in the contract in the year of our lord 2000 and 15. (Daniel José Older ‏@djolder)

 2015 UPDATE: Still takes 1.5 hours to install a printer and print a test page. Even with WPS. We'll try again next year, shall we? (Cormac ‏@Cormputer)

PayPal allows 10 (!) days to process my unsubscription from their newsletters (which I never subscribed to in the 1st place). It's 2015! Also, I was yet again baffled that ticket vending machines for Berlin's public transport don't accept credit cards in 2015. Ach, Germany. (M. v. Aufschnaiter ‏@mva_1000)

It's 2015 why do I still need to charge my phone three times a day? (@TmarTn Feb 23)

Guildford has got rid of the pay by phone system at its car parks. Welcome to the 20th century! (Keith Judge ‏@KeefJudge)

Come on ‪#‎eastmidlandstrains‬ surely it is time all your trains had plug sockets for charging mobile phones‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬? (Steve Rogerson)

More here, and links to the rest.

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