Predictions for 2025

Americans will come up with more and more silly reasons why white middle-class people can't use public transport.

They will also have conniption fits about 15-minute cities.

A Lord of the Rings reimagining will delve into Sauron's unhappy childhood, his ostracism as a teenager, etc.

Moomin! the stage show will combine panto, physical theatre, acrobatics, hanging upside down - and of course songs.

The Guardian will write approvingly about polyamory without mentioning the legal and equitable aspects.

Black Friday? Why not a “buy nothing” day!

A severe storm will be predicted by weather men. People will be sarcastic about their bins being blown over. The storm arrives, power goes off, trains are cancelled, trees fall and planes are diverted to Cologne. The year after, the whole thing happens again.

There’ll be a panic about the snow panic in New York and the UK. There’ll be jokes about the country shutting down after a few flakes. Drivers will spend ten hours in their cars in the Pennines. Next year the same thing will happen again.

On Twitter, people will ask “How will children sign legal documents now they’re not taught cursive”, and “Are audiobooks reading?”, and will claim “You’ll find someone when you’re not looking”.

The following are always “coming back”: rickets, bed bugs, scabies, TB, syphilis.

I was getting worried that The Guardian hadn’t done a wild swimming article for a while but thankfully they’ve started 2024 by rectifying this, I’m sure everyone is v relieved. (@LukeTurnerEsq)

I see the Guardian has another "countryside is racist" article out today. (@DavidPGCSE, 1 Jan 2025)

We'll be told that:

There's a crisis in masculinity and we need a new way to be a man. It's women's fault, of course.

Woolworths is coming back to the high street!

Kids today are actually a new species.

Kids have an attention span of three minutes and play Minecraft for hours.

No more stiff upper lip – why we’re now a nation of criers (Times, Jan 2024. Every year for the past 50.)

Ratcatchers are called "rodent operatives" these days!

More women are skipping college to make six figures as electricians, car mechanics and truck drivers. (@nypost. When they're not coining it as strippers and escorts.)

More here, and links to the rest.