Don't forget, bullies are cowards, just ignore them, they tease you because they like you and violence never solved anything.
It takes a long time to believe something like that’s actually happening to you. You think things’ll change, get better.’... Being with C sort of sapped my will... With my first wife it didn’t matter – she loved me, she gave me confidence, and we had lots of friends, we were fine. I just didn’t know how to cope with someone like C. She isolated us as a couple . . . one by one, stopped me seeing all my friends, everyone I’d known before I met her. It got horribly claustrophobic... She spent her time criticising and getting at me. (A Reconstructed Corpse, Simon Brett)
The insidious nature of domestic abuse also plays its part. “It can build up gradually. It takes a while to acknowledge that you are being abused … because it’s become so normal.” “It’s impossible to work with [child on parent violence] by adjusting your behaviour, filling out a worksheet or trying to lay down boundaries. That sort of thing is not going to work if someone has lived under siege for a couple of years.” (Guardian 2018)
Many families shrug off unacceptable behaviour with the approach, “Oh, that’s just the way Ethel is,” and the object of the ire is just expected to take it. (Dear Prudie, slate.com)
Things changed once I became the successful one. The more I achieved, the worse his behaviour became. (Sydney Morning Herald on domestic abuse)
Emotional abuse leaves life-long scars. (@SilkeMeyer_DFV Some of us bear for ever the imprint of someone's thumb. Nancy Banks-Smith)
What’s at stake isn’t their internal emotional state but how they’re treating your fiancée. (Dear Prudie, slate.com)
Bullies get worse as time goes on. (@TheRoyalButler)
I would say that the college training was very lousy, and I don’t think that people learn by being invalidated... Acting teachers... seem to think that beating up their students and invalidating them will make them better, which I think is completely wrong. And at that age, you don’t realize that this sick person is really projecting all their neurosis onto you, you think that you’re the one who’s damaged... AK would not validate and would not allow. I think she had favourites, and you could never figure out why you weren’t a favourite, and it never made any sense. The thing you have to remember is that if a person is making you feel bad about yourself, that person is going to be in his or her own world. They are lost in their own universe. (Karen Black on acting school)
“Bullying is a complex symbiotic relationship” is a posh way of saying it's the victim's fault again.
People make the mistake of assuming that resistance to bad things is produced by being subjected to the badness one is supposed to resist. (WUR)
Marie Antoinette apparently had one shoulder slightly higher than the other – with an emphasis on the apparently, since nobody seems to have noticed it except for her mother, the Habsburg Empress Maria-Theresa, who demanded her daughter be strapped into a corrective corset that she probably did not need, and peppered her letters with bullying commentary on the alleged shoulder incline. (Times)
Former Boy Scout Mails 500 Pieces Of Garbage To Boy Scout Bullies Among other things, the packages contained old tea leaves, underwear, and dirt. (Atlas Obscura. Revenge only hurts the avenger blah blah.)
You sided with a bully... and that is something I will never forget. So, no, you and I won’t be “coming together” to move forward or whatever. (FB)
The education secretary’s adviser on behaviour has revealed that he was bullied at secondary school. Tom Bennett... said that he had suffered “discreet” bullying for years... “It lasted for years and the teachers never knew a thing. The odd thing was, neither did I. It was perfectly usual to sit in a lesson and be passed notes telling me what a wanker I was... Never was I actually punched in the head or anything. I think that’s why I never spotted the clues. It lasted until late in my school career, when I started to push back.” His experience taught him that adults could be unaware of bullying and that he had been right to react.
A study of twins concludes that bullying has genuine causal effects on mental health. (Who’da thought it, eh?)
Bullying isn’t simply an affective state of a victim. (@isacsohn, 2016 You can’t have a victim without a perpetrator.)
"I'm being bullied" is now an early, loud complaint of all bullies. (@WillWiles, 2016)
The view from Oz PM Malcolm Turnbull was that Donald Trump is a bully and to confront a bully, you need to bully back. (What happened to “just ignore them and they’ll go away” or “respond to Trump with calm”?)
Bette Davis took out all of her insecurities, as is often the cliché, on everyone within firing distance. (goodreads.com Oh yes, bullies are just insecure, and “take it out” on others. So that’s OK, then.)
Ridicule is dominance marking behavior. (@RuffyanMe, 2017 Sticks and stones; they tease you because they like you.)
Following years of bullying from my peers for being clumsy, I still struggle to trust people. (Refinery29.uk)
"Grow thick skin" is what abusive men say to get away with their abuse. (@Nouronal)
As I grew taller and older, she ceased bullying me – even attempted some sort of rapprochement. (Falling, Elizabeth Jane Howard)
As my brothers got bigger, my bullying father then focused on me. (slate.com)
No-one told T that the kid who repeatedly bullied him and tore his clothes 'secretly liked' him (T eventually stuffed his head down a grating, which didn't mean T secretly liked him either). (LW)
Rather than firing or talking directly with members of staff he didn’t like but had somehow acquired, he froze them out – a slow torture for the victim. (London Review of Books, 2016 on David Astor)
Mom mocks my crying by putting on a demented baby voice. (Dear Prudie, slate.com)
My husband was an early bloomer, and hit six feet tall long before other kids his age hit their growth spurts. Some short bully with a Napoleon complex made a project of tormenting him... until one day, in front of class, M just turned around, picked him up, and DROPPED him. Guess who never bugged him again? (@Iron_Spike)
I've often read how horribly director John Ford treated people. I've also often thought that someone should've given him a punch on the nose! (KMB)
More here, and links to the rest.
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