Corny Old Religious Jokes

"I don't question your existence." God

Adam to Eve: "I'll wear the plants in this family!"

An Archdeacon is familiarly known as the crook at the head of the Bishop's staff. (The Rev David Grieve)

Birth, life, death. Repeat as necessary.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Give me that old-time Religion...Hail Zeus!

I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.

In a crisis call for Isis!

In the beginning was the word, and the word was aardvaark.

Jesus Saves! By using double coupons and shopping wisely.

Photons have mass!? I didn't know they were Catholic...

Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?

Sorry I missed church, I've been busy practising witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

That was Zen. This is Tao.

The lion and the lamb shall lie down together but the lamb won't get much sleep.

Why settle for the lesser of two evils?

Why are you writing "F*** the Pope" on that wall, my man? Because I don't know how to spell "F*** the Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland."

Drinking tea can improve your character: charitea, humilitea, sensitivitea, puritea. (The Rev. David Grieve)

Sometimes it's the blend leading the blend. (The Rev. David Grieve)

Church Noticeboard jokes here.