Friday 18 September 2015

Overheards 8

They're still making-up the "overheard in Waitrose" genre:
Parent to small boy: You've got to anticipate needing the toilet, Virgil!

At Glastonbury: Is your middle name Nathaniel? I think I may have found your driving licence in the campsite. (@janinegibson )

But these are real:

Dad to son, Stokey caff: You can make chips with anything.
Son: Macaroni cheese?
Dad: Not sure if I’ve ever had macaroni cheese chips – but you can have yucca chips!

In the caff: Cheese and wine evening? The world's changed, ennit.

In the caff: Have you got into Game of Thrones yet? It’s the nuts, innit? Could I have another tea and another Lucozade please?

In the café, mum to little boy: You love the taste of coffee and lemon and olives.

On the bus, two boys:
Oh, she put conkers in her car to kill the spiders but more spiders came so she got rid of her car.
Yes, she sold it to me.

On the bus: She wanted a very vintagey olde-worlde true princess-style wedding.

In the street, gran to children: Whingeing is counterproductive!

I never do Google – I can’t – I’m not into it yet. (Slightly self-righteous tone.)

About a local painter: She just churns them out. She made £100,000 – it’s all they talk about in Chiswick.

In the Mind Shop: She tried on a skirt like Joseph and his coat of many colours.
Ditto: This is where IKEA bags come to die.

At the textile fair: In history, they didn’t know what dogs looked like, so they drew them wrong. Perhaps they didn’t know what parrots looked like in 1925.

Woman on the train: We couldn't afford Putney so we had to live in Wimbledon!

Man: I just thought, maybe they would have discovered House Of Cards by themselves, but you can't go through life like that. (@Andr6wMale)

A woman in Sainsbury's just replied to the self service checkout that automatically thanks you: "Don't thank me, I've done nothing for you." (@SummerRay)

On the bus "if it's something good, it's 'this is Britain', but if you're complaining about something it's 'this is England'". (Karl Sharro ‏@KarlreMarks )

At work – uttered in a somewhat arch tone!
I sent British Airways a strongly worded tweet about it.
Did they respond?
Not even a retweet!

More here, and links to the rest.

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