The more things change, the more they stay the same. The times change and we change with them.
It's all the victims' fault.
People shouldn't be encouraged to see themselves as victims.
Actually, I'm the victim here!
Use Facebook, but complain about the ads that fund it.
Looks don’t matter, but there’s a fitness and beauty industry.
Be original, and wear the choir uniform.
Live the dream, but don’t over-challenge yourself.
Don’t compare yourself to others, but try and be top of the class.
Live in the moment, but learn from experience.
Live in the moment and make a revision calendar.
Kids today have a three-minute attention span and play Fortnite for hours on end.
Get good marks and pass exams, but don't be too clever or people won’t like you.
Children should “learn to manage risk”, but teenagers should not indulge in “risky behaviour”.
We shouldn’t cram children with facts, but none of them knows what a wren is!
Nobody's perfect, and it's a wicked world, but astrologers' character descriptions are uniformly positive.
Class has disappeared, but look at those awful chavs taking over town centres. Why we can’t we do street life like on the continent?
Nadine Dorries just complaining that post-Brexit we’ll have no voice because no MEPs, commissioners! (@ProfJeffKenner)Get good marks and pass exams, but don't be too clever or people won’t like you.
We shouldn’t cram children with facts, but none of them knows what a wren is!
Move to the remote countryside to stop your children mixing with the "wrong" people, then worry that they will “never leave home”, and try to get rid of them as soon as possible.
Make people dependent on you, then blame them for having no initiative.
Make people dependent on you, then blame them for having no initiative.
Nobody's perfect, and it's a wicked world, but astrologers' character descriptions are uniformly positive.
Class has disappeared, but look at those awful chavs taking over town centres. Why we can’t we do street life like on the continent?
Riches don’t bring happiness, but posh people have perfect lives. (The BPS Digest talks about a “subconscious rose-tinted view of rich people”.)
Formal manners are a thing of the past and there are no social codes any more, but it's very rude not to say thank you, or good morning, or good night, or goodbye, or remember people’s birthdays.
Leftists: simultaneously whiny, weak snowflakes who want to be protected from the real world; also brutal, unstoppable cultural revolutionists ruining our pantos. (@joncstone)
Formal manners are a thing of the past and there are no social codes any more, but it's very rude not to say thank you, or good morning, or good night, or goodbye, or remember people’s birthdays.
Leftists: simultaneously whiny, weak snowflakes who want to be protected from the real world; also brutal, unstoppable cultural revolutionists ruining our pantos. (@joncstone)
According to Leave voters, there is nothing to worry about from No Deal as nothing will really change. (@CyrusBales So why were they so keen to leave?)
“It’s just so undemocratic to ask people to vote again.” Theresa Villiers response to calls for a #PeoplesVote on #bbcsp. Wow. (Alex Andreou @sturdyAlex)
UK says its Brexit aims are to secure the rights of its citizens, minimise financial impact and protect its borders, while simultaneously suggesting the EU's aims to secure the rights of its citizens, minimise financial impact and protect its borders are tawdry and unreasonable. (@sturdyAlex)
A lady at work today told me she can't wait for Brexit so all the Eastern Europeans would leave the country and stop stealing jobs. I asked her if she knew I was Italian. She said she loves Italy and is looking to retire there. (@anitamassey86)
Had a neighbour who complained there were too many Asians (in the Bay Area!) but loved the good Chinese food. (@amydipa)
I wish all the Brits who moan about how people "coming over here" should "learn our language first" could meet all the Brits in Beijing who need help paying their water bills in Chinese. (@YuanfenYang)
I've got an aunt who lives in Spain and doesn't speak a word of Spanish but will always comment on immigrants to the UK not trying to fit in with the culture. (via Twitter)
UKIP warns of Schrödinger’s immigrant who ‘lazes around on benefits whilst simultaneously stealing your job’. (@marmite_)
Crazy how so many British people can walk into Tesco, see 20 self-service checkouts, and still believe that it's immigrants who are taking all the jobs. (@evolvepolitics)
Seems Schrödinger's Germany is a thing now. Simultaneously "brought to its knees by migrants refugees and no longer a recognisable nation", while also being "An evil economic powerhouse that will dominate Europe". (@Far_Right_Watch)
“Immigrants ought to assimilate” say the people who went to exclusive schools, live and holiday in their own areas, and never mix with the rest of us.
Libertarians want to stand alone and pay less tax and shrink the government, while benefiting from libraries, hospitals, policemen, street lighting, piped water, sewers…
People live peacefully thanks to science, government and law – but Brian Cox smiles too much; why isn’t there a “none of the above" vote; and we don’t need laws – just manners and civilized behaviour.
Seems the famous "British sense of humour" doesn't extend to Jean Claude Juncker dancing like Theresa May. (@Otto_English And aren't we told to "dance like nobody's watching"?)
A fundamentalist christian calls LBC to complain about 'thought control' in modern secular societies. (Frederic Moreau @goodclimate)
Sex and City sold the “freewheeling” single lifestyle as preferable to “settling down” (note euphemisms). Meanwhile there is pressure to pair off, marry and have kids by the time you’re 30. At the same time your friends say “I never got that! Where did you hear that from?”
Attack Angela Rayner for having a baby at 16, and attack women who reach 40 without having children.
People don’t want to commit, but at the same time they despise the single.
Being single is wonderful - you know, find out who you really are, do what you like, stronger on your own - but few people choose it, and having a partner is an index of normality.
Genuinely not sure why so many parents try to big up how horrendous it is to prospective babyhavers? (@FrogCroakley)
“Sex workers are slaves BUT ALSO dangerous perpetrators who will steal your man and ruin the planet! Save them! No wait... shame them! No wait... what’s our platform again?” (@juniperfitz)
If sex is all in the head, why is “loss of libido” an official side-effect of many drugs? Why does anybody buy Viagra? (Actually, if sex is all in the head, how did we get here?)
If all women are lying about sexual assault, why do young women get such a lot of advice about how to avoid it?
In the 50s and early 60s, you couldn’t be frank about sex but there was a subculture of dirty jokes.
Those complaining that the predicted storm wasn’t bad enough, and alarmist forecasters “terrify” the public, are the ones who call a few traffic jams or grounded planes “carnage”, “chaos” and “mayhem”.
We don’t have free will because we are influenced by circumstances and other people – but we create our own reality and we are responsible for our own happiness.
Britain First wants a free speech law with no exceptions, but wants to ban Islam.
It’s rather fascinating that many people who go on about how much they love ‘free speech’ also deplore the use of Twitter by people they disagree with. (@PaulbernalUK)
There is too much CCTV, we live in a big brother state!’
The burqa should be banned so we can see their face on CCTV!’
Make your mind up.
(QuestionEverything @Challengeitnow)
Claim 1: No one is actually atheist, everyone is by nature religious.
Claim 2: The Soviets were murderous atheists/secular humanists.
(@zei_nabq)
Common alt-lib tactic: tell us to accept "intellectual diversity" (i.e. more bigotry, white supremacy, etc.) but at the same time their entire schtick is telling everyone how dangerous "postmodernism" is and how it has to be vanquished from the university. (M.P. @OmanReagan)
Interesting that historians have been charged with both a failure to engage and luring a generation towards communism in the past 48 hrs. (@MauriceJCasey)
Edward VIII couldn’t marry divorcee Wallis Simpson and remain king because it would be “unconstitutional”. Henry VIII was divorced and remarried twice, and remained king.
The Bible was written by “barefoot nomadic goatherds” who built cities and a temple. (Also "over Edom have I cast out my shoe".)
If loose, light layers keep you warmer than tight, thick ones, why do skiers wear tight-fitting padded body suits?
Old-fashioned schoolmasters preached the Christian values of forgiveness and loving your neighbour, while flogging pupils.
Agatha Christie, famous for stories like Death on the Nile, Murder on the Orient Express, They Came to Baghdad and Murder in Mesopotamia, can be dismissed because she only set novels in English country villages.
Therapists want you to “get in touch with your anger”, but don’t like it when you’re angry with them.
We're all on the spectrum, but you should try to fit in.
Stand out of the crowd – but don’t be 5’9”.
Be yourself – but only if you’re neurotypical.
Rebel against the status quo – no, not like that!
Why is it that we tell the “normal” kids to shine and stand out but tell kids with disabilities they need to blend in? (Herding Cats www.phoebeholmes.com)
We don’t have labels.
The others have labels.
They are different.
But we’re all different.
Nobody is “normal”.
We’re all individuals! (Monty Python’s Life of Brian)
More here, and links to the rest.
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