Goldwynisms

Film mogul Samuel Goldwyn was known for garbling the English language.

Only 12 apostles? Go out and get me thousands!

Give me a couple of years and I'll make that actress an overnight success.

I don't care if it (his new picture) doesn't make a nickel. I just want every man woman and child in America to see it.

I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

I read part of it all the way through.

When I want your opinion I will give it to you.

I don't want yes men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.

An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Go see that turkey, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it.

I'm giving you a definite maybe.

Gentlemen, include me out.

That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.

Never make forecasts, especially about the future.

You fail to overlook the crucial point.

Put it out of your mind. In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

I never liked you and I always will.

In two words: im-possible.

My wife's hands are so beautiful I'm going to have a bust made of them.

If you can't give me your word of honour, will you give me your promise?

When told he couldn't film Radclyffe Hall's "The Well of Loneliness" because it dealt with lesbians, he replied: All right, where they got lesbians, we'll use Austrians.

More jokes here, and links to the rest.