Monday 12 August 2013

Another Set of Movie Clichés

Do people really carry out important conversations while wandering round brushing their teeth, as they do in the movies or on TV? (@GraemeGarden1)

Nerdy guff that annoys me #53 - Defiance: Aliens who refer to themselves as 'aliens' to humans. Humans would be the aliens to aliens. (@woodo79)

When dressing a medieval or renaissance outdoor scene for TV put in plenty of barrels. (@DAaronovitch )

Single people always have just one carton of Chinese takeaway food in the fridge. (Bill Maher)

Woman packs a case for a man, sometimes while making arch, brittle conversation.

The heavy only cares about his pampered chihuahua.

In old movies, bodies are discovered by someone looking off screen and screaming.

Ageing film star dances shoeless, drinking champagne from a glass held in both hands.

Middle-class women in b/w movies think they’re being terribly witty while just saying ordinary things in arch, brittle voices. (The Letter, Steve in Paul Temple)

Detective holds up envelope with the secret microdot. He sets light to it! All: !!!!!!! He waves it lightly from side to side and drops it in an ashtray. Detective: Fortunately I have the microdot here (produces real microdot from top pocket disguised as a matchbook). “As I told you, the man who had it didn’t know he had it.” (Sherlock Holmes Goes to Washington)

Young, pretty woman turns up for first day's work in mortuary. She walks towards us down dreary corridor. We see her full length so we can appreciate her a) beauty b) perfectly in-period clothes. She pauses and simpers, then walks on. She is going to break down social barriers! (Murder on the Home Front)

Bloke has v important scrap of paper e.g. winning lottery ticket, phone number of ideal girlfriend, pawn ticket, name and address of secret agent etc etc etc.  He carefully puts in shirt pocket to use/dial/memorise etc later. And then... he forgets about it, and puts his shirt in the wash.  When he gets it out again, the bit of paper is a meaningless pulp... Or he has to visit 17 laundries to try and get it back in time. Or the lottery ticket gets buried with grandpa.

The team meet Mr Big in his office and one of them takes some photos. Mr Big is partnering with the local millionaire to build a visitor attraction. Later the snaps reveal a huge plan on the office wall which has completely obliterated a lake/nature reserve/village and replaced it with a golf course/opencast mine.

The Apprentice is all filmed like a dramatic reconstruction on Crimewatch.

80s women’s pictures: lots of twinkling, and titles involving food or embroidery. (An American Quilt, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Café)

In women’s pictures of the 30s/40s/50s, everything stops for a fashion show.

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1 comment:

  1. Re: Bill Maher - 'Even a tart has half a lemon in her fridge' is the only bit of food writing from Nigel Slater that I ever liked. It is a catchphrase in my family now.
    I love fashion shows in films - better than when everything stops for a song for no reason. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (the film) got it right!