Similes 5

London's new towers are 'like architectural leylandii'. (Independent Feb 2015)

Can you remember the last time you bought an actual "hot cake"? (Damian Counsell ‏@DamCou)

Russian basses “sound like cardboard boxes being torn up”. (Will Stevens)

A new Foxtons branch in your London borough must be like the arrival of smiling Conquistadors brandishing smallpox-infected blankets. (@AlexPaknadel)

London feels like one of those heated aeroplane towels this morning. (@HamishMThompson)

It always looks so good on TV, but everything at Olive Garden tastes like cardboard with sauce. (Stephanie Fredricks ‏@stephfredricks)
Fancy chain restaurants are just fast food joints dressed up for the prom. (northierthanthou.com ‏@Brimshack)

Ed Miliband is like a blancmange in a hurricane.
[Hoping alt therapy will cure cancer is like] running into a burning building & trying to put the fire out by means of interpretive dance. (@HadleyFreeman)

#Spiral Poor Judge Roban, more and more resembling a wounded stork. (Roy Kelly ‏@stanyanfan49)

David Moyes seems to be picking up Spanish, much in the same way that I'd pick up a semi-concious bumblebee. (@cluedont )

I slept like a twig. (@cluedont)

The Scottish no-nonsense [way] to approach safari park talks. "This great grey owl is thick as mince." (Ben Hatch Novelist ‏@BenHatch )

The fog came down like a sheepskin coat. (PM)
A line printer that yammered like a set of prank-shop chatter teeth. (New Yorker)


Some say that the Bible shouldn’t be translated into poetry, as it distracts people from the meaning.
Your princes are like grasshoppers in a day of cold — when the sun rises, they fly away; no one knows where they are. Nahum 3:17

To bow down his head as a bulrush. (Bible)

Lo, they all shall wax old as a garment; the moth shall eat them up.

For ye shall be as an oak whose leaf fadeth, and as a garden that hath no water. And the strong shall be as tow, and the maker of it as a spark, and they shall both burn together, and none shall quench them. (Isaiah 1:30-31)

And the Amorites, which dwelt in that mountain, came out against you, and chased you, as bees do, and destroyed you in Seir, even unto Hormah.

Therefore they shall be as the morning cloud, and as the early dew that passeth away, as the chaff that is driven with the whirlwind out of the floor, and as the smoke out of the chimney. (Hosea 13: 3 )

She shall rustle away like snake. (Jeremiah on a defeated Egypt)
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Your goodness is as a morning cloud, and as the early dew it goeth away. (Hosea)

More here, and links to the rest.