|Very ladida, mate!|
In the café:
I’m having poached egg on toast.
Very ladida, mate, very ladida!
Yeah, no, I like it. Yeah, no, that’s nice.
Crossing the road: Why, why? Why won’t people help you? Yeah, yeah, because it’s too much hassle, yeah.
In the café:
Rugged builder: A little bit of mint in the meatball?
Waitress: It’s coriander!
Frenchmen all look gay!
When they like you they do everything you like.If he likes me, he can ask me out!
(Tells a story about a girl who kept knocking on a neighbour’s door and asking to borrow a cup of sugar and having a chat. Eventually she said, “Well, aren’t you going to ask me out?” They’re now married with a child.)
(On English men) You say something, you do something, and they’re like “OMG she wants to marry me!” (And they end it.)
On the train:
I asked her what she was doing. Not very much! And I told her what I was doing – not that she could contain her indifference. Then she bent down and started picking out vitamin supplements.
In a Greenwich pub:
And that's how the bubonic plague spread so quickly. (@concretism_mus)
Top mansplaining prize (decibel category) to aged chap on bus yelling DARLING I THINK WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS into wife's face. (@lucyfishwife)
A man in this post office queue is on his phone, bragging to his mate about how much online Scrabble he's played with Gary Kemp... (@kitlovelace)
In Borough Market: Well, we can always get bread back in Shoreditch. (sumit paul-choudhury @sumit)
In the #skyatnight office: The average colour of the universe is beige, the average smell is musty, and the average sound is F#. (BBC The Sky at Night @BBCStargazing)
The lowlight of overheard parenting in the caves was a very quiet "You're making things very unpleasant for the other people here". (@Truett)
In Soho: "OK, I get chicken tagine, but where's Sue Cook in all this?"
"...and Marcus is cooking what he calls his 'post-war lamb'."(Andrew Male @Andr6wMale)
At our company, we came up with our own name for Not Invented Here syndrome. (Daniel Westheide @kaffeecoder)
Love spotting British people abroad: Woman reading sign remarks, "apparently it's a historical site", "doesn't look very historical to me..." (Jen Izaakson @Izaakson)
On the train:
So I went from Scotland to London to feed the cat. (Andrew Brown @seatrout)
In Hyde Park: "These non-native parakeets are terrible, taking all the chestnuts from the squirrels!" (None of the 3 are native) (James Wong @Botanygeek)
At dinner: He's amazing. He's published poetry on Amazon Kindle. (@willyleeadams)
Overheard once sat by the river:
"It's the worst barn conversion we've ever lived in." (@janmorgan8)
In the office:
You know, love is a battlefield.
No, Syria is a battlefield, get over yourself. (@NilamAtodaria)
Lady on the bus: You know what I hate? People making up conversations.
Child on the bus: I am profound.(@BDSixsmith)
More here, and links to the rest.