More Corny Old Religious Jokes

A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.


A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords. (Alan Wilson Watts)

Confession without repentance is just bragging. (Rev. Eugene Bolton)


Every time someone predicts the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little.

Freedom of religion includes freedom from religion.

Go thou and sin more creatively next time.

Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.

I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. (Winston Churchill)

I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

If organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it for myself.

Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. (G.K. Chesterton)

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.



Corny old religious jokes Part One here.