Thursday, 23 November 2017

Contradictions 5

Hijab-wearing Middle Eastern woman
breastfeeds in public

Flinching when anyone mentions vaginas or periods, while relying on women to produce children.

Amazing how the same sort of people who call anyone left of Thatcher a 'liberal snowflake' get mad if a single panel show takes the piss out of them for half an hour. (James Snow‏ @Frumple_James)

British people say “You must drop by if you’re passing,” but they’d be appalled if you did.

"There's too much immigration in this country. I'm moving to Spain."

Lots about Schroedinger's EU today. Blamed simultaneously for being an all-powerful superstate and for not controlling its Member States. (Steve Bullock‏ @GuitarMoog)

The Christmas Tesco ad caused outrage last week when, in a very brief segment, it dared to include a Muslim family hugging each other on Christmas Day. The very same people who for years have demanded that “Muslims must integrate and respect our traditions and way of life” are now apparently outraged at depictions of just that happening.

Open sexuality is dangerous/cishet monogamy is stable.
Criminal sociopaths are interesting/good ppl are boring.

Should we make this much fuss about abusers like Harvey Weinstein? Why did nobody say anything before?

You can have whatever you want as long as you want it enough. But don’t have ‘unrealistic expectations’.

We're all individuals, we all want to be different and think we are, but try being slightly more or less than average in any respect. It’s normal to pretend you want to be extraordinary, while conforming.

The Americans are so friendly and warm and polite – but they won’t give up their guns. See also the Philistines (pottery), Vikings (human sacrifice, poetry) and Aztecs (human sacrifice, floating gardens, poetry).

Idiots on Twitter: “The EU interferes too much in our lives, and should definitely do more to interfere in Spain’s internal politics”. (@RupertMyers)

Live in the moment, and be prepared. Don’t copy other people, but social skills can only be learned "by osmosis". We tell children “be yourself”, but then fuss endlessly about “role models”.

Schools are for teaching resilience and character, not for cramming children with facts. But schools are judged by exam results.

Determinism must be true, because we are influenced by other people, the economy, personality etc. But you are responsible for everything that happens to you. And you must have wanted it to happen.

If the land belongs to the original inhabitants, what were we doing in Pakistan, India, America, Canada…?

In the 50s, Hollywood likes a darkly handsome, exotic-looking male film star, but he must change his Italian name, or lie about his Anglo-Indian background, and pretend his natural skin colour is an acquired tan.

Tell people that happiness is a byproduct, and then tell them it’s a state of mind. Discourage them from seeking the things that would make them happy, because “if you got what you wanted you’d only want something else”.

Ban women from conservatoires, then ask why there has been no female Beethoven.

We want children to be mature, but not precocious.
We want them to be literate, but not pedantic.
We want young people to be idealists, not socialists.

“The Marxists are in control”, say the capitalists who are in control.

Clothes make the man, fine feathers make fine birds, wear a suit to the interview, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts, don’t judge a book by its cover, and appearance doesn’t matter.

Dream the dream, you can have anything you want as long as you want it enough, but let go of “unrealistic expectations”.

Cab driver: "I love your work mate!"
A bit later "These immigrants don't contribute anything. They are all unemployed."
ME: "Erm..."
(James Wong‏ @Botanygeek)

We need Trident to protect the people, but we don’t need sprinklers in council flats.

I love that for years it was "Young people don't engage with politics, it's terrible!" and now we have "The young are stealing democracy!" (@pointlesslettrs)

It's funny how the same ppl who say "Blue Lives Matter" turn around and use police as shorthand for an oppressive force, e.g. "PC police". (Mark Tseng-Putterman‏ @tsengputterman)

Our opponents are just effete "champagne socialists", but we must fight them with all our might.

Send children to single-sex schools until they're 18, then wring your hands about lonely older men and the decline in the birthrate.

Be yourself, but try to please as much as possible. (Edith Head)

Political correctness is destroying free speech, but why can’t we ban Americanisms?

I'm having my knee replaced next week – for free! – but homeopathy is better than scientific medicine.

I’ve got free speech, but you can’t say that.

I know my rights! But there’s too much of these “human rights” these days.

Journalists always ask "How do you feel?", and reality TV isn't complete without someone weeping because their flan has gone soggy, but there's far too much sentimentality in public over occasions like Diana's death. However, it was all whipped up by the media.

Thanks to better nutrition, everybody gets bigger and taller – but clothes sizes stay the same.

Live in the moment, be spontaneous, go on the pill.

British people are Anglo-Saxon and proud, but we learn nothing about Anglo-Saxon history at school. (In my day history started with 1066 – a defeat for the Anglo-Saxons.)

People mock art students and then go watch movies, read books/comics and drool over designer clothes like??? (@Maham_Hussain)

Klan members in robes and masks complain about women in burkas.

“I don’t believe in safe spaces,” say rich white men, “I’ll just be here in my gentlemen’s club, you can’t come, no reason." (Janina Matthewson‏ @J9andIf)

Honesty is the best policy, but people on the autistic spectrum must be taught how to lie.

We celebrate diversity, but there’s a programme called Big Fat Gypsy Weddings.

Recipe for disaster:
1) Force feed people anti-immigrant myths
2) Realise that immigration is critical for the economy
3) Panic.

More here, and links to the rest.

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