Sunday, 21 June 2009

Ads We Loved and Loathed

TV ads sometimes disappear mysteriously. Did people object to those girls eating Aero and saying "Love those bubbles"? Who could fail to love the violin-playing sloth who should have gone to Specsavers? Did someone complain it was unfair to Brazilians? We loved these:

All the Creature Comforts electricity ones, especially the turtle. ("An athlete like me – I need it warm in all the rooooms.")

Irn-Bru - made in Scotland from girders.

Ariston, and on and on and on...

Bev and Kev ("We always wanted one of those!") Watch it.

That gas ad where the devil is living in a semi. ("Yes, I like a roast.") (Vanished very fast.)

Boddingtons, the cream of Manchester ("'Ere, Tarquin, yer trollies are on back to front!")

Ah, Condor! (Series from the mid-60s advertising vanilla-scented pipe tobacco. The funniest was with a group of Japanese tourists turning their heads as one as a pipe-smoking gent strolled by.)

Maxell tapes skeleton ("Rerecord, not fade away!")

All the Maureen Lipman Beattie ones. ("Not good enough for Mrs Jones, not good enough for me.") Here's Maureen.

Are you with us, Uncle Reginald? (Ghostly voice:) Nooooo, I’m with the Woolwich!

"As we say in Liverpool, eat up, you’re at your auntie’s! And it’s low in fat – yes, low in fat!"

Bassett's Allsorts ("Everyone's gone Bertie!")

Fido Dido 7-UP ("It's cool to be clear.") Gong, ga-gong.

Fry’s Turkish Delight (from the 60s, with swaying girls in harem pants)

Guinness dancing man.

Becks dancing men.

Hot chocolate, drinking chocolate (from the 60s, with couple running through snowy wood chanting this)

It’s in the saaaaand. I’m not being much help, am I? (80s ad where little boy has buried car)

Judderman He judders here.

Aero ("Love those bubbles!")

Mr Soft He's here.

Vicks Sinex (Nigel Plaskitt, the guy who played Malcolm, also voiced the violin-playing sloth.) "No, your exams, silly!"

OO ooo, Vitalite Sing along here.

R Whites ("I'm a secret lemonade drinker!" Sung by Elvis Costello's dad.) I'm trying to give it up...

Ronseal ("It does what it says on the tin.")

Cresta ("Rrrrrrrimskykorsakov! It’s frothy, man!" This vibrantly coloured fizzy drink was sold by a very cool polar bear in shades.) Froth here.

Esure with Michael Winner ("Calm down, dear!")

Walkers crisps are for Druids!

Crème Egg (how do you eat yours?)

After Eights David Attenborough takeoff

Philadelphia cream cheese with Sarah Croft ("Chives!")

Jack Dee, the dancing penguins and John Smiths.

And those we loathed:

"Sarah Mike Tom and I" were sitting in the garden drinking Baileys. Or was it four other people? (Here's a Bailey's ad with nice music from Carmen Miranda.)

That’s Fruitini! (a doomed attempt to make tinned fruit cool by selling it in little ring-pull cans)

"I’m on a hair and beauty course and all my friends ask me…" All you need is a little Finesse! (Sometimes you need a little Finesse, sometimes you need a lot)

Red Mountain – coffee so good that your guests will think it's freshly made. As long as you hang out in the kitchen making percolator noises first.

Stu-Stu-Stu-Studio Line (Sculpt your hair any way you like it!)

Shampoo and conditioner? Take two bottles into the shower? Now I just Wash'n'Go! (She was quickly replaced with another girl who talked more proper. This is the posh girl.)

The Andrex lady being helicoptered in (originally American, she was quickly revoiced).

Mini-Kievs! (Just shove them under the grill and call perkily to your children.)

The woman working late designing a sanitary towel “designed to fit the body”. "Why not make it curved? Women are!" (They didn't catch on.)

That 80s one for sanitary towels which showed cartoons of women’s walking feet (in low heels and peg-top trousers) to tweety music. (Restrictions on advertising sanitary towels had just been lifted.)

Ooooooh! Bodyform! Body formed for you! With a woman doing a cartwheel in tight white shorts. Try this.

And who could forget the See you all in Courts song?

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