Saturday, 6 June 2009



Sometimes you overhear a snatch of conversation that stays with you for years. Who had transcendent experiences instead of meetings? What did she do to him in Bognor? I'll never know now.

My daughter said, “Go shop and order a baby!”

You didn’t give me no flapjack, no muffin, no nothing! (Turkish man complaining in shop February 27, 2009)

She don’t want no pie and mash, she wants f***ing chips! (said with great affection to lady in wheelchair)

I come with as many health warnings as a packet of cigarettes.

They don’t have meetings, they have transcendent experiences.

You left one there and the other one in Egham.

Not after the way she treated me in Bognor.

"She wants to put on the invitations, 'Dress code, Royal Ass-cott'!" (Two girls on bus talking about a friend's wedding)

West Indian man entering shop [sings]: It’s a long way to Tipperareee…
Indian proprietor: It’s shorter now, it’s half past ten.

More here, and links to the rest.

No comments:

Post a Comment