Loopy Logic 10: True X is Y

X is Y.
True X is Y.
There are no X, only Y.
To X is to Y.
The X is the Y.

X is Y

Template: [Specific action in real life] IS [abstract concept].

Capitalism is extinction, socialism is survival.

God is pure act. (Thomas Aquinas)

Uncertainty is death. (Margy Osmond, Australia, Jan 2022 re masks) 

Ignorance is death. Education is life. (James Shafer, leader of the Master Metaphysicians sect)

Perception is reality. How you view things is how they are. If you see something as bad – it is bad. But life happens to us, and it’s choosing to accept that. Most things are out of our control, so there’s no point beating ourselves up about them. (Writer Ed Jackson)  

A real decision is “a commitment to action based on a sound analysis of the facts” –  anything else is acting on impulse.

Learning is remembering.

Words are violence. 


TRUE X IS THE OPPOSITE OF X

These girls… we have indeed liberated them. These girls have become Muslims. (Boko Haram, which kidnapped many girls)

TRUE X IS Y 

Liberals are the real authoritarians. Feminists are the real fascists. And now cis women are the real oppressors.

Violence is the real pornography (or v v).

That’s not equality, that’s EQUITY. That’s not education, that’s TRAINING. Leads to "TRUE equality is not equality" and "TRUE education doesn't teach facts and skills".

That's not writing, that's journalism. 

Real communication is not about communication per se but an almost religious attempt to understand things outside you. (@byzantinepower)

Antifascists are the real Nazis. (Only the real Nazis were Nazis.)

Affordable healthcare is slavery – for doctors.

Working for a wage is slavery. (Slavery is specifically NOT working for a wage.)

There are no problems, only challenges.

Immigrating and not assimilating while breeding is a form of invasion. (@Goyette_knows) 

I would always stand up for women but I don’t want women’s rights and all that sort of thing. (Mary Berry)

You have true freedom in the Catholic Church – freedom from doubt. (You might call that "Jesuitical".)

True immortality consists of never being forgotten by the generations which succeed us. ("I would prefer to achieve immortality by not dying." Woody Allen)

Patriotism isn't [thing I don't like] It's [thing I do like]. (@robpalkwriter)

“Dealing with the harsh winters is simply a state of mind,” says Trine Hahnemann in the Times. However, she goes on to say, “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing”, and recommends big scarves, hats and fur-lined leather gloves. And thermal undies. She also suggests draping reindeer skins over the seating in your dining room to keep your bottom warm. Excellent tips, but the complete opposite of “just a state of mind”.

PLOYS

Redefine your terms in the middle of an argument. Start off by pretending you are using the terms in the dictionary sense, then come out with your own completely different meaning. 

I don’t wear make-up – just mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick. (Princess Michael)

If you redefine happiness as “state of wild ecstasy” you can say that happiness doesn’t matter and nobody should try to attain it.

If you say there’s no such thing as a “race” then nobody can be racist.

If you redefine bullying narrowly as insults and physical assault, we can’t call repeatedly shouting over a woman (and much other obnoxious behaviour) “bullying”.

If you redefine alcoholic as "a tramp drinking methylated spirits", none of your friends can be alcoholics.

Straight denial: John Kerry: US troop deployment to Iraq is not intervention. 

There's a famous fallacy called "No True Scotsman". 

No Scotsman wants to stay in the United Kingdom.
But my friends McTavish and McRobbie are against independence.

No true Scotsman...

It's a shame grammar, logic and rhetoric aren't taught in schools any more. You can't learn about them without learning about sophistry and equivocation.

You heard about the man who proved black was white? He was run over on a Zebra crossing.

Questioning science is science – oops, that’s true.

More here, and links to the rest.

Grammar: Malapropisms and Portmanteaus 10

As Humpty Dumpty said, portmanteaus pack up two meanings inside one word. Conspiracy theorists like them: plandemic, scamdemic, Commiefornia, flu d’etat, Brussels bureauprats, Demoncrats, the lamestream media. Otherwise polite people talk about Tony Bliar, Microsoft Orifice and the Usanians. People have given their leaders nicknames for millennia – but we don't need to copy them. All of the following have been spotted in the wild.

portmantno (For clunky portmanteau that just doesn’t work. @Fritinancy)

conspirituality (Conservative spirituality)
somnambuscripting (Writing code when half asleep, AJB)

hopium (false hopes)
hibernacle
fleabay

the plantocracy (head honchos of horticulture)
agrannoying (TG)
biografiends (James Joyce)

blanditry (architectural – especially recladding an ugly old building in the latest style)
prosumer (thinks he's a cut above the ordinary shopper)
soapnesia (Amnesia conveniently suffered by soap actors. I had a daughter 18 years ago? Dagnabbit!)

salariat
copaganda

Malapropisms are called after Mrs Malaprop, a character in Richard Brinsley Sheridan's The Rivals. Her garbling of words produced something better than the original. 

The Pigmillion effect (It's Pygmalion – see My Fair Lady.)
defliperator for defibrillator
monothealastic (monotheistic)

Psychic palm and terror card readings: speical offer! By Mrs Eli, Tell past, present and future.
us lesser morsels
Free Plasticine!

Post hoc ergo prompter hoc.
roast beef and criminalized onion relish
You can stop off and visit the Panthenon. (Cruise TV)

Her work is so enigmatic of the period! (Sotheby’s spokesman meant emblematic.)

Why do 'intense' or 'disorder' have to be despective? I love intensity and I definitely am disorder. (@adhdult – disrespective)

I must just Satanise my hands.
And now a word from our spouncer.
Everyone's so opinuated! 

Pool closed because of carnivorous.
She wore an orchid pinned to her shoulder as a croissant. (corsage)

The event was a complete durbockle! (Say it in an American accent.)
He was a wolf in cheap clothing!

I bought my rolls from a partisan bakery.
Have you met my magnificent other?

"I attach a daft translation" I write to someone, with irreproachable professionalism. (@BelgianWaffling)

We decorated the walls with Deluxe paint.
a tilted family of multimillionaires

There's a big gap between the armature and the professional!
I’m a social piranha! (for pariah)

This computer is completely defunk!
Our soup is made from locally sourced indigents.

The protesters lobbed mazel tov cocktails.

More here, and links to the rest.