1. You can tell your doctor what's wrong with you and what you want him to do about it.
2. You can stare at people and nobody minds.
3. People don't keep bullying you to be outgoing and loud and bubbly.
4. You can be quiet and sweet.
6. You can say "Oh look! What a beautiful building!" without people telling you you're old-fashioned and quaint.
7. You can enjoy a cup of tea and a biscuit.
8. You can swap banter with other old people.
9. You don't have to be cool any more. (And nobody puts you down if you haven't heard of the latest thing - they expect you not to know!)
10. Random people chat to you.
11. Handsome young men chat to you.
12. People don't nag you to learn to drive.
13. Those "must-read" books are long forgotten.
14. Those burning debates are as dead as disco.
15. You can witness Really Bad Ideas – like underpasses, tower blocks and trendy reading methods – finally pass from the face of the earth.
16. You can see the return of ideas that were working perfectly well until somebody came along and modernised them – like pedestrian crossings, houses in streets, and B says "buh".
17. Nobody tells you "Go for it! What could possibly go wrong!" because you've found out by now.
18. You can be houseproud.
19. At a party, you can sit in a chair and not talk to anybody, because nobody takes any notice of you anyway.
20. You can be patronising.
21. You become assertive – actually you don’t, but people expect you to be a bossy old bat and you can live up to their expectations.
22. You can be opinionated.
23. You don't have to stay long at parties.
24. You can stun young people by telling them you use Twitter!
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