More Upsides to Being Old

Comedy club? Leave me out!

Looks really don’t matter at last. People talk to me as a human being, instead of ignoring me for not being pretty or flirtatious enough.

Being female is an advantage for the first time in my life.

I can be as clever as I like and nobody notices or cares.

I don’t have to believe the “latest theory” because I know there’ll be another one along in a minute (especially if educational, psychological, managerial, organisational).

I don’t have to learn how to do young people’s dancing. And anyway it starts to look absurd when you hit 30.

I can be gracious and condescending. Nobody expects me to be hard or mouthy.

Nobody expects me to do a bungee jump.

I can go to a film matinee alone. And probably to a pub to watch the sport on telly.

I don’t have to go to comedy clubs.

I can wind up my friends when they wail that there wasn’t all this innovation when they were young and we’re all going to hell in a handcart by pointing out that people have said this every year for the past 5,000 years.

And nobody bullies me to give dinner parties!

Upsides to Being Old 1