Quotes about Relationships 104

Wikipedia informs us that "Single people may participate in dating and other activities to find a long-term partner or spouse".

People with schizoid personality disorder have “one of the lowest levels of "life success" of all personality disorders (measured as "status, wealth and successful relationships”... “Schizoids do not go out of their way to achieve social validation.” They show “Marked insensitivity to prevailing social norms and conventions; if these are not followed, this is unintentional.” (Wikipedia)

Human beings are born dependent. We are not independent little monads. We are born to be in relationships. We are born for one another. (Lee Weissman)

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. (George Sand)

People of all walks of life—no matter how socially awkward or nerdy—find partners. (slate.com)

People around me look at me weird when they learn that I’m still single at this age with no children and also no plan for it. (Slate.com)

I used to make gemstone dangly jewelry for your house. People would ask me which one would get them a boyfriend or money. I said “I’m up to my elbows in gems. Got no bf or $." (@joqatana)

A Christmas Eve custom invites single Czech women to stand with their backs to the front door and remove a shoe. They hurl it over their shoulder towards the door and how it lands predicts their romantic prospects for the year. If the toe of the shoe faces the door, the thrower is destined to marry. If it’s the heel, it’s another painful 12-month wait. (But at least nobody tells them they'll be stronger on their own – I hope.)

There are few Jews left in Morocco, and all young people leave. Why? Because there are no opportunities for further education, and also they need to find somebody to marry. (Anthropologist Roy Mittelman, paraphrase)

I want all of the other tangible benefits of a relationship: shared experiences and goals, love, emotional support, etc. (slate.com)

Shouldn’t any partner of yours encourage you? Isn’t that a pretty low bar to clear? (slate.com)

I was hoping for some encouragement and moral support. Isn’t that what husbands do? (slate.com)

If you’ve been dating for well over two years, and they haven’t proposed yet but you want that, break up with them. It takes most people 6 months to know if you’re marriage material. Two years after that? they’re wasting your time and youth. (@morganisawizard. This led to a long Twitter thread over timing of proposal, length of engagement, etc.)

I am in my late 20s and my fiancé is in his early 30s. As you can imagine, the last year was chock full of weddings and next year will be the same, culminating with our own. (slate.com)

We instinctively attribute differences between people to differences in their personality, when much of what governs our behaviour is the situation in which we find ourselves. We’re social beings: if you want to adopt a vegetarian diet, hang out with vegetarians and copy them; if you want to exercise, find an exercise buddy... If you want to be less of an introvert, you’ll need to force yourself to take up an activity that requires social contact. Change your actions and your personality may change too. (Ft.com on Be Who You Want by Christian Jarrett)

I feel that society’s default position is “you should have a baby, even if you don’t think you want to, but you definitely should!” (slate.com)

There is one type of friend almost everyone has: the buddy who can help you get ahead in life, the friend from whom you need or want something. You don’t necessarily use this person—the benefit might be mutual—but the friendship’s core benefit is more than camaraderie. These are what some social scientists call “expedient friendships”—with people we might call “deal friends”—and they are probably the most common type most of us have... These friendships are not an end in themselves but are instrumental to some other goal, such as furthering one’s career or easing a social dynamic. (Theatlantic.com)

I recently moved to a new city where I have no real support system. Due to COVID, a lot of the normal activities (sports/gym) that I would use to make friends are on hiatus. (slate.com)

She had cultivated the wealthier girls on the campus... borrowing their fur coats, their ready cash, their young men... The sickening good sense of [the standard advice]! Keep yourself occupied, keep your body fit, learn to mouth the proper clichés and you will solve all problems. They were one step removed... from the self-improvement quacks... who said kindly but firmly, Pull yourself together, man, it’s all in your mind. (Helen Eustis, The Horizontal Man)

I used to read Jackie magazine as a youngish teen and believed all of it. Once walked round taking tiny steps in platforms and smiling coz Jackie said that’s why Japanese girls were so feminine and attractive - I am not Japanese but it seemed an easy fix. (@shellstinyworld)

I’d love to see girls taught from an early age that they don’t have to be mums, they don’t need to have children, their sole purpose isn’t to get married to a man, stay home & raise kids, and that there is so much more to life than inevitably becoming mums. (@DrJessTaylor)

Men are supposed to give you bunches of red roses – one once gave me a load of manure for the garden. (Angela Carter, paraphrase. She married a man who came to the house to fix the plumbing.)

I will never be able to move to New York to some impressive-sounding job in publishing or editing, because it would be unaffordable—and thus I will never be able to re-join the cool kids. (Atlantic.com)

The hardest part of functioning in society is going to a new place, encountering new people and situations, and the Minotaur suspects that this would be true even if he didn't have the head of a bull. (The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break, Steven Sherrill, 2013)

The further you stray from Western beauty ideals, the less respect you’re afforded in the dating pool... Someone being upset by their date being plus size is really just “someone’s insecurity being impacted by another person’s stigmatized body and how that reflects on their social standing.” (Teen Vogue)

Some men prefer big women but are embarrassed to be seen with them. (Marion Pitman)

The one thing I'd say about religion is that gives you a social framework. (JP)

My neighbour on the staircase had a nervous breakdown because the change from his previous life as a schoolboy to being an undergraduate was too much. (TC)

She’s shy and doesn’t know how to go about dating. (slate.com)

Take away every circumstance in which love might begin: work, sport, college parties, festivals and clubs. Young people ... try to fix up dates online: “But it’s pretty hard to generate a romantic spark walking stone cold sober with a stranger around a park,” I’m told. (Janice Turner, Times 2021-02-13)

All around us an adult world was revolving quite indifferent to us; we didn’t realise that it existed, much less that it excluded us. Exposed to nothing but the classics and confined to a provincial campus until now, we knew very little about the latest books and artistic trends... A few of the women in our crowd were sleeping their way up into more sophisticated spheres, and if I’d been handsome or socially ambitious I might have done the same. (Edmund White, The Beautiful Room Is Empty)

We lived a very small, contained family life... and we didn’t entertain much so my social skills were really nil. (Elaine Paige, who has “never married”)

Parents take for granted the many networking opportunities available to them. It’s similar to businesspeople who play golf. (Not Mom summit organiser Karen Malone Wright)

The remarkably fine, cold rain which had been chasing me around since early morning, like a tireless and determined spinster. (Ivan Turgenev)

'Men indicated a strong influence of ‘cultural’ ‘societal’ ‘family expectations’ less so ‘personal desire’ ‘biological urge’ in decision to parent. (@psychreg)

My wife was pregnant, and my days of gallivanting in pubs and clubs were over. It was time to settle down. I bought a cocker spaniel puppy and took him for walks. (Gareth E. Rees, author of Unofficial Britain)

From the day we’re born, we’re formed by the opposition and support of others, and by the ongoing stories we share. (Psyche.com)

Speaking as someone who did move, despite people saying stupid things like "you take yourself wherever you move to". Yes, oh idiots, but I am not the problem. (MM)

I was in the last all male undergrad year. I don't actually recall any black armbands, in fact from what I remember all us mathematical geeky sorts all liked the idea of having women too, on the logical lines that this gave us a greater chance of getting a girlfriend. (FT)

Q What’s really capitalism that people don’t think is capitalism?
A  Toxic self-help books trying to convince you that you can make it if you just use more uplifting self-affirmations, take cold showers in the morning, and practice mindfulness at work. You're not downtrodden by the system, it's just you that need to step up. (@GhostlyJorg)

Telling someone to stop being anxious never makes them feel better. But asking someone how you can help them could change their life. (@ChloeBellerbyMH)

You have to actually address the root problems of suicidal people and meet their material needs. I am so tired of saying this. (@DepressedWBlack)

Suicide hotlines frame a societal problem as an individual one. (@TraceyEOBrien)

Having no friends can be as deadly as smoking. (@qikipedia)

Why are people unhappy? It’s a real puzzler. (@Inhumansoflate1)

They used to tell me "You're better off as you are".

More here, and links to the rest.