Sunday 28 August 2011

Unhelpful Advice

Do your own thing

Unhelpful advice that is very easily disproved. Why do people mouth these platitudes? Do they just want you to shut up and go away? Or do they want to neutralize you, stop you rocking the boat and causing trouble?

99% of the things we worry about never happen. (I can think of things that I’ve worried about and HAVE happened and they add up to far more than 1%.)

Accept, adapt, carry on. (It’s very convenient for society if you do this. And there are some things you shouldn't accept.)

All you need is confidence. (So I don’t need a job, home, possessions, clothes?)

Be original. (Most groups insist that you fit in.)

Be outgoing/take the initiative. (Not all the time - that would be pushy and domineering.)

Be spontaneous. (Or fake it. They mean "be a little bit spontaneous sometimes". Or "make it look spontaneous".)

Calm down. (We all know what this means - "shut up".)

Don’t copy other people. (So everything you do and say has to be something no one has ever done or said before? I don't see other people doing this. Fortunately.)

Don’t imagine that people don’t like you! (You can probably tell if people don't like you - so don't stick around.)

Don’t think about it too much. (So how can you think up a solution?)

Don’t think about what people expect from you, think about what you expect from them. (They're probably expecting you to read their minds and they can get very cross if you don't.)

Don't worry about what people think of you, because they don't. Dr. Phil (Do you never think about other people? Discuss them with your friends to find out what A thinks about B? Quite a lot, yeah?)

Failing is good for you because you'll learn something about yourself. (Gee, thanks.)

If you feel right, everything will go right. (You try it.)

Just be yourself. (So why do people write self-improvement books?)

Just relax. (I won't bother getting up, then.)

Life’s not fair. (But you said I could have anything I wanted as long as I wanted it enough.)

Live in the moment. (That would make looking for a job difficult.)

Love yourself and people will love you. (Has this ever been scientifically tested?)

Make an effort/you can’t expect people to come to you/meet people halfway. (Haven’t they noticed that this directly contradicts “all you need is confidence", "just relax", and "live in the moment”?)

Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to notice you. (So why am I trying to make a good first impression?)

Never think about what other people are thinking about you. (Not even at a job interview?)

People take you at your own valuation. (Scientific tests have shown that people value others according to how they are valued by others.)

That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. (Traumatic experiences destroy many people's lives.)

There’s always an off button. (But I don't want anyone to see this crap. Are you telling me to shut up again?)

There’s no such word as can’t. (So you won’t mind if I drive your car even though I’ve never passed the test?)

Wait until you feel ready. (This has to have a sell-by date. And presumably you need to do something while you’re waiting.)

You can have whatever you want as long as you want it enough. (So why is the world full of poor, unhappy people? This is a classic Catch 22. If you don't get what you want, you obviously didn't want it enough. Feh!)

Lots more here.

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