Grammar: Pismronunciation

Confusing worms

A medieval monk substituted “mumpsimus” for “sumpsimus” in one prayer. When put straight, he replied that he had said it that way for 40 years and “I will not change my old mumpsimus for your new sumpsimus”.
 

advocado: avocado

Alexander Solzeernitskin, writer of One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch: Solzhenitsyn

Andrew Sabitsky, Andrew Sabinsky: Sabisky

Baia, in Italy: Baiae (Bye-eh. Probably means "bays".)

Barnard’s Castle: Barnard Castle

Bayzhing, the Chinese capital: Beijing with a hard J

Beer-route: Beirut in Lebanon (Bay-root)

Bob Geldorf, musician and fund-raiser: Bob Geldof

Buchi Emencheta, the writer: Buchi Emecheta

Callagan: Prime Minister Jim Callaghan pronounced his name with an aspirate as in loch and Bach

Casa Pupa, the rug company: The labels clearly read “Casa Pupo”.

Colgate’s toothpaste: Colgate

Colibri, the font: Calibri (Colibri is a brand of cigarette lighter.)

Company House: Companies House

grahtsy, Italian for thank you: grazie (grah-tsee-ay)

Eric Hobsborn, the Marxist historian: Eric Hobsbawm (originally Obstbaum)

folage: foliage

Hailey's comet: Halley's

homogenous: homogeneous

In Chester Cathedral: Winchester Cathedral (song by the Kinks)

jardinère: jardinière

Jeux sans Frontères/Frontiers: Jeux sans Frontières (Likewise Médecins sans Frontières, Doctors without Borders.)

Johann Sebastian Bark: Bach (Especially annoying when spoken by someone who can say “Lough Ness” perfectly well.)

John Hopkins University in the US: Johns Hopkins University (trips up many Americans)

Jungendstil: Jugendstil (Decorative style from the late 1800s.)

juvenalia: juvenilia

Last night I dreamed I went to Mandalay again (More often “Manderlay”.): The first line of Daphne du Maurier’s well-known novel Rebecca mentions the house where most of the action takes place – Manderley. Mandalay features in a poem by Rudyard Kipling.

lines of longtitude and latitude: longitude

Mario Vargas Llosas, writer and politician: Vargas Llosa

Marleen Deartrick, actress and singer: Marlene Dietrich (Marlayna Dee-trich)

Mars tricked, with the accent on the "tricked": Maastricht

mischievious: mischievous

Miss Haversham, character in Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations: Miss Havisham

Miss Marples, Agatha Christie’s genteel detective: Miss Marple

National Institute of Health in the US: National Institutes of Health (NIMH)

Nora Desmond, character in the film Sunset Boulevard: Norma Desmond

nucular, nuculus: nuclear, nucleus

portères, curtains over doors: portières

protruberant: protuberant (Protuberant eyes protrude.)

Rekkavik, Iceland’s capital: Reykjavik

Revelations: The Biblical book is The Revelation of St John the Divine.

Suits you, sir: Suit you, sir! (From the Fast Show.)

The Forsyth Saga, series of novels by Galsworthy, twice televised: The Forsyte Saga.

The Narzies: the Nazis (Allegedly Winston Churchill stuck to Narzies because that was how many people pronounced the word.)

Tiananmen Square in Beijing: Tienanmen

Trivial Pursuits, the 80s game: Trivial Pursuit

tumeric: turmeric

When Good King Wenslas last looked out: King Wenceslas looked out.

Some insist it's "an historic" rather than "a historic". This was never a rule, though we used to say "an hospital" and "an hotel", not pronouncing the Hs. 

 
As a child, I had a friend called Adele, pronounced A-dell. My mother insisted on calling her "AD-ell" because she thought it sounded more French. And others on this template: a Giovanni who was called "Yevanney" by one of his teachers. Conversely, the holder of the name tries to make it sound more English: a Radio 3 announcer in the 70s pronounced his name "HOMEstr'm" (Holmstrom). But perhaps he thought the Brits couldn't cope with the correct Swedish sounds.

At a convent boarding school in the 60s, postulants (trainee nuns) were called “apostulants” by everybody.

Every day we recited: “The angel of the Lord appeared unto Mary/And she was conceived by the Holy Ghost”. Wrong theologically and biologically (people also confused conception and contraception, back then). It's "she conceived by the Holy Ghost". (And some are now confusing gender ideology and gender criticism.)

In the school garden there was a beautiful rose-draped pergola (path with columns). The adjacent lawn was the “pergular lawn”.

The Dennehy girls were persistently called "Dennehay" by one nun.  

And designer Laura Ashley was always "Laura Rashley" or just "Laurashley".

Some try to put extra vowels into words like "Renaissance" or "Sevres" (Renayassence and Seyervres).

And then there's pronounciation versus pronunciation.