So. It has come to this.
Guards! Seize him!!!
No... That's just what they expect us to do...
Do you have a solicitor???
I'm going to have to stop you there...
What would Socrates do in this situation?
(From Andy Giddings)
Nice little town you got here!
We like it!
Do you think -?
I’m certain of it.
For Daphne’s sake.
For all of our sakes!
How long have you been here?
I’ve been here for some time.
Blackmail – it’s an ugly little word, isn’t it?
A nasty word for a dirty business! An ugly word for an ugly thing! (and variants)
Did you come here to gloat?
No, I can gloat from a distance.
You mean somebody - ?
Not somebody – you!
Maybe I shouldn’t butt in –
Yes, maybe you shouldn’t.
If there’s anything I can do…
You’ve already done enough, Mrs Fletcher. Good day!
Please – go now!
I seem to have said all the wrong things!
Hold me – just – hold me!
I hope you’ve got a licence for that thing.
I think you and I need to have a little chat.
There’s enough for all of us!
Controlling husband/manager: I’m only thinking of what’s right for you!
And now if you’ll excuse me, I have a space station to run [or insert reason here]
I’m not a coroner, I’m a gynaecologist! (Murder She Wrote)
In India we have a saying… (Best Marigold Hotel)
Why are you telling me all this now?
There isn’t a sign of them/him/her/it.
How long have you been following me?
But Uncle Eugene, you know what the doctor said!
How do you think that makes me feel?
I don’t have to listen to any of this!
So that’s why I’ve always felt – different!
Why don’t you let me worry about that!
You’ve done enough damage for one day. (Eastenders Aug 4 11)
But surely you don’t think that I…?
[Unfolding parchment, unwrapping rock, holding blank sheet to flames etc] It seems to be a – message of some sort!
He couldn’t have done the murder – he was with me – all night!
Spoken like a true (ex-wife and soon to be ex-partner – or whatever plot point you want to get across).
On the phone always say “What’s that you say? He disinherited Andrea?”
Isn’t this a little late for a social call?
You can’t keep us here!
[Large town] is that way. You should reach it in 48 hours – if you walk all night.
When stopped by the cops, say: May I ask what this is all about? (“Officer” is optional)
More here.
Lovely, very funny.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't see that coming. Or, we should have seen that coming. And that's where all the trouble began. If only you'd said something sooner. Or, if only you'd kept your big mouth shut.