Headlines 3

Sometimes headlines are ambiguous:
More Time Granted to Murder Police (BBC Sept 2013)
Deadly British plant thought to be extinct is discovered by a lighthouse (Daily Mail)
Synod to rubber stamp women bishops
Turkey Extends Hand to Norfolk Eastern Daily Press
Mystery of pre-historic whale graveyard solved by toxic algae (The Week)
Doctor Who amputated Oscar Pistorius’ legs
Traffic Stopped by Giant Octopus


And some are bizarre:
Gastropub landlord guilty of chasing eccentric American to death with ironing board (Evening Standart)
Woman gives birth, fights off bees, starts wildfire in Northern California (via LA Times)
Police warned angry goat on roof “only respects one man” (Metro, Nov 2014-11-20)
This woman dunked an egg beater in lava and got arrested (Huffpost)
Race to save beetle-threat clothes
Wandering turtles clog runways at JFK
Rogue cabbie tells police 'I've had a hair transplant' (2013 Manchester Evening News)
Turnips will be grown on the Moon (Times 2013-11-30)


Some are fascinatingly dull:

Hunt for washing line thief who stole Primark tracksuit bottoms on Beverley Road (Hull Daily Mail)

Kate Middleton Just Took Her Pregnancy Fashion To The Next Level With This Chic Maternity Peplum (Nov 2014-11-20)

Lollipop lady's garden shed gets national treasure status DT March 2014 (It’s a former hat workshop.)


Sometimes typos are an improvement:
Huge crow attends fireworks display
Inhumane laughter of the gannets must be ended (Glasgow Herald)


Or subs make terrible puns:
Chelsea embarrassed by their Basel brush-off (Mirror, 2013, among several)
Basel brush past Chelsea but Londoners advance (Reuters, 2013)
Women sought for Neanderthal surrogacy? Not yeti, thankfully


While adjectives pile up:
Mark Rothko Tate Modern painting damage man jailed (BBC News)

More here.