'Here are dragons' did actually appear on two 16c maps. Next week I'll find out if any mad scientists really said 'the fools, the fools'. (@edwest)
My favourite bad horror/sci-fi movie trope are regular-sized human masks that easily disguise much, much larger alien/monster heads. (Allan Mott @HouseofGlib)
It is stuffed with implausibilities... ending with an aspiring actress being offered a dream role in a movie on the strength of doing a one-woman show attended by about ten people. (Times on La La Land)
Even by the standards of Radio 4 dramas the heavy breathing on this nonsense they're playing right now takes the p***. (@IanDunt 30 Dec 2016)
Bring me one documentary that features an Arab country that doesn't open with [a call to prayer] and a panorama of houses & minarets. (@areyoudone)
After series 2, every franchise becomes a soap opera. (GC on Sherlock)
It has started to feel oddly like a clipshow of itself. (Jonn Elledge on Sherlock, New Statesman)
Filmmakers in the past have made the mistake of loading Agatha Christie adaptations with actors chosen simply because they are big box office stars and not necessarily on the basis of their suitability to play the parts, and this is another aspect which has probably made the David Suchet series so popular with TV audiences everywhere. (imdb commenter)
Churches in soaps are always inexplicably rural. Seriously this one in Eastenders would take minimum an hour to reach in a car. (Matthew Whitfield @mwhitfield80)
I guess I’m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation’s laws. (SJ Perelman)
According to the Times, Stephen Poliakoff’s latest hero is "a handsome, shrewd, single-minded and utterly ruthless maverick who is able to function on no sleep. He thinks outside the box; he has a background in engineering, a distinguished war record and the air of someone who does 'incredibly important secret things'. Only he is much more than that. He loves jazz and swing, he knows how to talk to children, and given half a chance he will sit down and play the piano." (This was supposed to make me like it; it made me suspect it was dire. I was right.)
Toning down his usual Shakespearean and Sherlockian grandeur, Cumberbatch takes to the burgundy-red superhero cape with a bracing dose of irony. Times on Dr Strange (Once any actor has appeared in Shakespeare, you can taunt them for being “grand” and a “luvvie” or “thesp”, and express surprise that they can subsequently play anything else, or return to the modern world. And Sherlock isn’t “grand”.)
Nothing I fear more than a film where the cast were "one big happy family" and everyone had lots of fun on set. (@Andr6wMale)
Why do the plots of cash-in Hollywood prequels to children's literary classics always involve a messianic prophecy? (@AlexPaknadel)
Where is this storyline with the young policewoman going? Are they setting her up to marry Anton Lesser or to die horribly? #Endeavour (Della Mirandola @dellamirandola0)
Nobody wears white unless they’re going to get blood on it. (@lucyfishwife)
Movies are more likely to portray men’s stalking as charming and women’s as crazy. (Atlantic)
Man in this cafe looks just like my late father. His ghost? According to TV pilot law, we must now team up and solve crimes together. (@paulwhitelaw)
"I want my movie to be dark" said every single director. (@AndrewSabisky)
Portraying real people, actors typically say that they will not attempt an “impression”, then do. (Andrew Billen Times Feb 2016)
“But who’s actually REALLY in control” is to videogames what “but it was all a dream” is to movies. (Jack @notquitereal)
PHOTOGRAPHY
I'd rather not see so many pictures of cats, Big Ben, poppies, white balloons, tattoos and Amsterdam. (Steerforth on Instagram clichés. He also lists pictures of coffee, pictures of feet, and inspirational quotes. A commenter: “A lot of people who post on Instagram seem to want to be professional advertising stock shot photographers.”)
SOUNDIn the front seat of the OCTA bus on which I'm riding, a semi-transient is playing soulful wails on his harmonica, as if we were all preparing to walk the Last Mile in the Big House. (Scott K. Ratner)
Pet hate #96184. When some clot decides it would be a good idea to write a modern soundtrack for a silent movie. (@richard_littler)
It is a central principle of sound editing that people hear what they are conditioned to hear, not what they are actually hearing. The sound of rain in movies? Frying bacon. Car engines revving in a chase scene? It’s partly engines, but what gives it that visceral, gut-level grist is lion roars mixed in. (Guardian June 2016 I think by "grist" they mean "grit", but they have let go a lot of their sub editors.)
One side effect of imminent Nestene invasion is that for the only time ever all human voices become echoey. (@TobyHadoke)
Tips from the Horror Movie Survival Guide
If you find that your house is built on a cemetery, move away immediately.
If your children speak to you in Latin, shoot them at once.
If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially not if you're the odd guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, write your will now.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
Never try to communicate with something icky because "there's so much we can learn from them".
If you walk into a church and notice that the crucifix is upside down, leave by the nearest exit.
If you realize that the people in your town have been taken over by some strange force, DO NOT call the police as they are a) already taken over or b) will just laugh at you.
When you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave them alone.
Don'g go in/out/down there (attic, closet, barn, basement, dark alley, woods, empty house, castle).
Generators will run out of power, just as the nasty space-vegetable climbs onto your jury rigged electrical grid.
Ask why the estate is being sold so cheap.
If the Master does not approve, neither do you.
Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible way.
People driven by vengeance always die.
ALL atomic weapons cause normal creatures to grow huge and carnivorous.
A small-town's little summer celebration sounds like fun, but if the locals say things like, "Why you're the guest of honour! We couldn't even have the barbecue without you!" run like hell.
Quaint rural corn ceremonies are NEVER really about corn.
Don't work the night shift.
Under no circumstances remove any unusual item from glaciers or large blocks of ice.
If an iceberg appears to be radioactive, do not crash your submarine into it.
Don't explode A-Bombs in the Arctic, South Sea atolls, or deep beneath the ocean. These locations are thickly inhabited with survivors from the prehistoric past. (Not to mention the blob, giant octopi, etc.)
Stay on the Interstate.
If you are trapped in a house surrounded by demons, making coffee will not help anyone.
If you really must run screaming through the woods, dress for it. Avoid high heels.
Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school.
Never tease anyone. They'll either gain extraordinary powers, or go psycho.
Don't bother telling another character to "Stay in the car."
Avoid people with pale complexions who moan and sway.
Blondes with visoble roots are the food of choice of 9 out of 10 aliens.
When investigating a house or place shunned by the whispering townsfolk, don't try on the clothes in the trunk in the attic, don't look in the mirrors, and don't read the diaries.
If the barber remarks on the "666" tattoo your buzzcut kid now has, abandon the kid and move to Irkutsk.
Do not poke strange steaming rocks with sticks.
Never announce openly that you're not afraid, you don't believe, or that you're fully prepared.
Follow all care instruction of strange animals to the letter.
In archaeology class, stay home for the unit on local folklore.
Do your community a favor and torch the local occult bookstore. They're usually more trouble than they're worth.
Don't buy antiques from strange magic stores.
If someone screams "None of you know whats really going on around here", listen to them.
Never say, "It's over".
More here, and links to the rest.
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