Outrageous Excuses 19

Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. (Matthew's Gospel) ML explains on Facebook: It’s a parable to teach a deeper truth.

There were many reasons I didn't get vaccinated, but a main one was that I was so against the idea of vaccine passports, that I didn't want to have one - in case I was tempted to use it at any point and so be a participant. (@TrattenRabbit. See also: I'm not getting vaccinated because: In the film I Am Legend a vaccine turns people into zombies.)

It’s OK for politicians to lie because “everybody does it” and “the other side is worse”. (Via JN)

The LGB Alliance announce that they have a stand at the LibDem conference. Oh, sorry they don’t – they’ve been told there’s been an “administrative error”.

Johnny and Amber: She fought back, so SHE’S the abuser.

Atrocities in Ukraine are all committed by Ukrainians on Ukrainians. And besides the cyclist captured on film being shot by the Russians was just a “crisis actor”. (And I suppose those burned bodies were shop window dummies.)

Murderer Wayne Couzens initially ran an entirely false account in which he pretended that for two or three weeks he had been acting under the coercion of a gang from one of the Balkan countries who compelled him to abduct girls who he then handed over… His account on this issue was highly detailed and it was a complete fiction. (Sentencing judge in Sarah Everard case)

A Labour plan to remove private schools' charitable status would end up costing the taxpayer - with schools closing and pupils switching to state schools, sector leaders have warned. (@tes)

Megachurch pastor, 62, is placed on leave after allowing volunteer with 'obsessive sexual feelings' for children to work in unsupervised roles as 'a method of treatment' (Daily Mail. The volunteer was his son, and they were shopped by his sister.)

Trump supporters on the Arizona recount (there were errors, but a recount gave Biden more votes, not fewer): We just wanted to learn the vulnerabilities of the voting system.

Care homes shouldn't adjust their sensory environment much, because autistic people won't be able to go back into the 'real world' if we make them too easy to be in. (Via Twitter)

Iron sharpens iron. (Common in US Christian circles, I’m told, to excuse all kinds of bad behaviour – and to keep people in abusive relationships.)

I am sorry to go but I have concluded it’s time to reduce my commitments on a number of fronts. Over the summer I’ve had time to reflect on my extensive portfolio of interests and decided it was time to cut back. (Andrew Neil resigns from NewsGB Sept 2021)

MVRDV explained that "working with plants is unpredictable" in its response to criticism over the £2 million Marble Arch Mound. (It was a howling failure, and is now being dismantled.)

Orthodox Jewish newspaper: We removed Hillary Clinton from the photo out of respect for women.

HOLIER THAN THOU 

A condition such as dyslexia is an integral part of a person. To take away their dyslexia is to take away from the person. (Self help website for neurodivergents)

I’m not getting my deaf daughter a cochlear implant because it would be disrespectful to the deaf community and deaf culture.

Nonbinary person here... I had to skip going to a protest this morning that was very close to where I live because it was framed as a women’s rights issue and I didn’t know if that language was intentionally exclusionary and so I couldn’t be sure it would be a safe place for me to be. (Via Twitter, verbatim.)

I found out when my husband volunteered at our local food bank that they get rid of the sweets that people donate: "we care greatly about the health of our community and respectfully ask that you do NOT donate soda, cakes, cookies, or candy, as we will not provide these goods." (@keepingitsimpl7)

Javid: pouring money into NHS is unfair on the young (Times 2022-06-16)

Cycle lanes? London can never be like Amsterdam. (We can’t copy past architecture because lifestyles are different now, and we don’t want to live in a museum.)

We can’t ban [guns, cigarettes, river-polluting battery chicken farms] because people would lose their jobs.

Caught shoplifting? Bought a gun? “I was researching a novel.” (If an actor, say “I was researching a part”.)

I would be letting X down if I even tried to “understand” your position. (Twitter)

THE WORTHLESS NON-APOLOGY

I just got off the train in my wheelchair and said to the lady who came with the ramp ‘Thank you for coming, we’ve had a lot of bad experiences with ramp access today’ she replied and said ‘You’ve had bad experiences, I’ve had to put this ramp down three times today for people like you’. (@DisabledEliza)

I am so sorry someone on our railway said this to you. Maybe they’d had a bad day at work, or in their life; I’d like to think they weren’t always like that. You’re entitled to the service everyone else is – and the railway’s job is to help you get where you want to go. (@SirPeterHendy)

They said they had “worded it sensitively” and they are “sorry if I got triggered by it” (not an apology) “but that if I did then my reaction to it was “about me” - yuck. (HT)

A mixed-race hospital porter successfuly sued for harassment and discrimination. Other porters (all white) made remarks such as “He looks like a Muslim and they’re terrorists”. Two of his supervisors claimed there was “nothing malicious” in the comments. 

BREXIT

Then there’s my mother’s elderly English neighbour. She explained: “I voted Leave because I had a very happy childhood”. The world she remembered was white English, straight, male-dominated, with state violence toward transgressors. People knew their place. (@AndrewPRLevi)

I voted ‘LEAVE’ because I thought ‘STAY’ would win.’

Yes, I did vote for Brexit, but I can assure everybody that's listening I did not vote for this. I voted for people to be more patriotic. (Pig Farmer on Woman's Hour)

Turkey farmer near Chelmsford faces a “car crash” at Christmas as there aren’t enough workers. “I voted Leave to keep the lazy ones out, not the ones who pluck and pack for me.” (via LBC)

“Now is not the time to talk about Brexit” – in a week of food shortages and queues at petrol stations as the stuff runs out. (Pure Jeremy Bentham.)

'Please bear with us, we're experiencing high demand,' say supermarkets with half-empty shelves due to a shortage of drivers thanks to Brexit.

Oh no – actually the empty shelves are due to people holidaying at home and eating food.

Or they’re empty because Tony Blair urged young people to go to university.
And it costs a lot to get an HGV licence.
And not enough people are training.
And older drivers are retiring.

And drivers really are badly treated: low-paid, expected to sleep in cab, not allowed to use toilets at delivery site. 

Anyway, food shortages will be good for people because they all eat too much! It will cure our obesity problem and reduce the strain on the NHS.

What we need is longer lorries, suggests some bright spark.

My Brexiteer family tell me that Brexit Food Shortages et al are being deliberately engineered by remainers to make people believe that Brexit is an unmitigated failure. (@OldUnclePunch)

Whatever people give as a reason for voting Tory, their real reasons are all: “What’s in it for me?” (Including: "You can't trust Labour with the economy.")

More here, and links to the rest.