Syndromes: Mad Management 2

Popped into my old office this evening to see how they had repurposed our former Humanities offices now we are required to hotdesk... 6 months on. Oh, it's not being used at alI I see. (@odavies9)

My mum wins the worst training day ever award. When she worked for the council they paid for them to spend the day in the forest. On arrival they were presented with clown costumes which they had to wear and spend the day being a clown in order to learn how to lose inhibitions. (@ChrisYoules)

A previous school amalgamated with the associated infant school. Our first joint inset was “get to know you” / “icebreaker” activities: hula hooping, belly dancing, maypole dancing (@Mr_Kerry_C)

Oxfam hired a mediation firm to conduct a conflict resolution process. Juliet Lewis, 66, a volunteer for 15 years, recalled how she and her friends had to watch a video of cartoon bears hugging, which was supposed to instruct them in how to show empathy. “I think I blotted it out,” said Lewis. “I’m pretty sure I had my head in my hands at that point.” (Times)

Academics will get “a video about mindfulness but are still expected to work a 90-hour week”. (@Phil_Baty)

I worked in one place where everybody had a motorised stand-up desk. Never saw anybody there ever use one in stand-up mode. Because when everyone has one the novelty wears off. (@TheSkankworks)

My most recent employer tried ungendered facilities. It was an experiment that didn't last long. I was still in the old building when it was abandoned. (JP)

In 2023, some staff who refuse to put pronouns in their bio are sent on a training course. 

Some workplaces pick up a "progressive" idea like hot-desking just as everyone else has dropped it as unworkable.

I am still hearing about school proudly announcing their plans to build flexible, open-plan learning spaces with no walls etc, and my advice to anyone thinking about doing this is do not do this. (@tombennett71)

BUSY DOING NOTHING

At XYZ I checked the drivers in and out, however the shifts had been re-organised so no drivers came to me, this meant sitting in a secure office at night doing nothing. I was also involved in taking in orders for a department that had closed down. I was once detailed to provide data support for an office that had ceased to function. Quite often I've been the person walking around with a clipboard for no reason. It wasn't quite nothing, but even at a leisurely pace a day’s work could be done in under an hour. (Quora)

Want a job where you’re paid to do nothing? Anything related to the government or a really large, slow moving, old company. The people there just slowed other people down so they would have to do less work, no wonder they never get anything done. (Quora)

A friend reports he had a job where he was basically paid to surf the internet and write emails all day. Everyone went to the pub at lunchtime and few returned.

MAKING THE POSSIBLE IMPOSSIBLE
Place I worked whilst waiting to get on with my A Levels had a decimal hour. Timesheets were completed in multiples of six minutes. (CC)

First place I worked, the timesheets were completed in multiples of 36 seconds. Then fudged to multiples of 15 minutes by the payroll clerks. (IG)

Office Life by Keith Waterhouse features needlessly complicated bureaucracy. Staff get coupons torn out and books stamped every time they eat lunch. (Amazon has vaped my review – did I reveal too much about the central conspiracy?)

More here and here, and links to the rest.