Outrageous Excuses 11

22 November 2020: it has been a good week for excuses.

It's BullyingAwarenessWeek and @10DowningStreet have chosen to validate every bully defence:
It's a pressurised environment.
She's good at her job.
The complainants are too sensitive.
She's always been courteous to me.
Who can know what really happened.
(@sturdyAlex)

Could have at least done the bare minimum of "we'll send her on training". (@mishkab)

You missed out "unintentional". (@buchanan17)

Someone notes: Of course she’s always been courteous to you – you have power and influence over her.

These are same types of comments made about bullies all over the world. (Mark Stacey)

Ex-top official questions inquiry’s finding that home secretary was not “aware” of impact of behaviour. (Bbc.com)

Johnson says she was ‘not aware’ she was bullying. No, for her it was perfectly normal behaviour. Most bullies think like that. (@ajmpolite)

Most gymnastic of today's Tories, @neill_bob.
Do you support PM overruling a finding of bullying?
I haven't seen the evidence. Nobody has. So we can't reach a conclusion.
Will you be asking to see the evidence?
No. Because then I'd have to reach a conclusion.
(@sturdyAlex)

Somersaulting Tories say "She's being attacked because she's a strong woman of colour".

Twitter claims "short people can't be bullies".

Boris pronounces “the matter is closed”.


"I'm just asking questions," is the rallying cry of the conspiracist and scientifically illiterate. (@francesweetman)

Those behind the truly awful monument to Mary Wollstonecraft on Newington Green say some version of “We just wanted to provoke debate”.

If you’ve been caught out doing something really crass, like using a puppet to represent an autistic boy in a play, say “We just wanted to start a conversation”.

A woman curator who removed a Victorian painting of nudes explained: I was just trying to provoke a discussion, in a playful way. (Predominant reaction: Feminism gone mad again, political correctness is fascism blah blah. She rehung the painting, but she gained a lot of publicity which was probably what she really wanted.)


Commenting on a school in Mansfield, Ben Bradley said that “one kid lives in a crack den, another in a brothel”. Another Twitter user wrote back that “£20 cash direct to a crack den and a brothel sounds like the way forward with this one”, to which Mr Bradley replied: “That’s what FSM vouchers in the summer effectively did...” (BBC News)

After receiving a lot of flak, Bradley now (2020-10-24) says his remarks were “taken out of context”,  and the Tories have “an image problem”. Angela Rayner screenshotted the exchange, which Bradley has now removed. He tweeted Angela: That’s 100% NOT what I’ve said. Other Tories explain that they are not withholding food from hungry children, they are encouraging parental responsibility.


Fr Kevin M. Cusick, who asked a woman in church to cover her shoulders: By the way: I’m not backing down from this. I’ve thought about it, I’ve prayed about it and I’m not going to engage in the endless Vatican II style debate that goes back and forth constantly and ends up nowhere.

A man sacked from Lidl for making racist remarks claimed he can say what he likes, even if it causes offence, “because he’s a Stoic”, and that his religion should be respected. He also claimed his dyslexia prevented him apologising properly.

“Without a journey to work, we miss the chance to unwind, be creative or even find a partner.” Someone advocates a return to commuting, Sunday Times, Sept 2020. Also “commuting is part of who we are”.

We wanted our ad to irritate people because then the product name will stick in their minds!

If someone complains that your cartoon is offensive, explain: "We make fun of everybody! It's our Danish/French/British sense of humour!"

Conservative arguments are generally too nuanced to fit into 280 characters. (Spotted on Twitter)

The Bible has good bits – but they’re not original. (@NoHolyScripture, paraphrase)

Yes, we’re breaking the law, but in a “very specific and limited way”. (Sept 2020)

@NorfolkCC: "Scheme will enhance character of Wensum Valley through the viaduct creating a beneficial focal point in the valley." (@StopWensumLink. TPTB want to run a motorway on legs through the Wensum Valley.)


SILLY REASONS FOR VOTING LEAVE
A Eurosceptic is now claiming that Brexit was an EU plot.

My brother voted Brexit... 'for a laugh'. He didn't (still doesn't) understand the first thing about the EU or how it works. He thought it might give Cameron a shot across the bows, he didn't think 'leave' would win. (@timolarch)

I know a lefty activist who voted Leave 'in protest' because she was sick of posh toffs telling her what to do. So she decided to side with... Farage?! (@kirstysees)

A key reason I voted Leave was because progressives render the UK such a bloody soft-touch, and people like me wanted to get our own backs on arrogant liberals, in the only way we could. @butlerrichard2)

Someone on the day after the vote told me they voted to leave because “they fancied a change.” I kid you not. (@astrataz)

I spend a great deal of time fact finding and I voted leave because of the very subject of immigration. (@AnneForster19)

I voted Leave because I believed there would be little difference. (@tux1234)

The working class voted LEAVE. We told you not to underestimate us just because you were "educated", i.e. middle class and rich. You told us we wanted a people's vote instead of Brexit. We educated you by voting you out. Not so clever now, are you. (@BBCPropaganda)

I know someone who voted Leave cos they didn’t think it affected them cos they sell and import to countries outside the EU. They’re very angry with the new Customs paperwork coming out 1st Jan because it’ll clog the ports and airports and their stuff will be held up with everyone else’s. (@namott)

My Dad has a holiday home in Spain.  He voted leave because "I don't like being told what to do". (@AND1959REW)

More here, and links to the rest.