What have people been saying in the second half of 2022?
Kim Kardashian shouldn’t have worn Marilyn Monroe’s dress. I can’t form an opinion on this one.
If you want to get a laugh, just say “avocado”. Or vegan.
Oh no, “Fakebook” now.
When did jammed or jam-packed become rammed or ram-packed?
“There’s not this massive use for food banks in this country." Conservative MP Lee Anderson has told MPs people who use food banks "can’t cook a meal from scratch" and "cannot budget” during a debate in the House of Commons. Channel 4 News
Everything is “dropping” rather than arriving, or being revealed or unveiled, or launching, or debuting.
Conspiracy theory: Bill Gates is buying up all US farmland.
Is interpretive dance the new Brown Windsor soup? There never was such a thing.
Ten non-white people are shot dead by a white supremacist and someone on Twitter pops up to say “White men are under attack too”.
Everything Boris says is now diagnosed as “rhetoric he learned at the debating society”, ie the Oxford Union.
Bristol pubs to host three-day “anti-jubilee” party – it begins.
Daily Telegraph still suggesting that we should “put down the TV remote control” for the sake of our health. When did you last cross the room to press buttons on your actual TV? And how would you do half the things you do with the remote?
Tmesis: Sending Marni home? What (and I can’t stress this enough) the actual bleep? (Re the Sewing Bee.)
Platty jubes
Why did so many people choose Johnny over Amber? One reply I got: “Because they think males should fight for themselves and not be weak bitches.” So men ought to be violent but all victims are hysterical liars. Does not compute.
Oh now she’s “Carrie Antoinette”.
“You’re special!” is an insult. (I’m “special” for not denigrating Angela Rayner for being “common” and having red hair, apparently.)
clutch: Perfect, Exactly what is needed. (Urban Dictionary)
I think people on both sides are calling the other side “Handmaidens”, but it’s hard to tell. But you can be sure that whatever you accuse your opponent of, they’ll accuse you of the same. (Tu quoque.)
Social media is evil because people see something written down in black and white and believe it’s true. (Says someone on social media who seems never to have read a book or know they exist.)
Newfypoos are the latest must-have cross-breed.
Seems legit. (Used ironically.)
The UK is now a fascist state because anti-Brexit protester Steve Bray has been silenced under new rules. (Too loud.)
When they knock on your door
In the middle of the night
And take you away
To an unknown fate
That's when you know you're living
In a police state.
(TD)
Media shouldn’t call Ghislaine Maxwell a “socialite” – she was a sex trafficker! And they shouldn’t refer to “pro-life” movements, they are anti-choice! And others on the template of “All Lives Matter”.
July 16: Panic about the heatwave panic! Snowflakes, cowards, mad dogs and Englishmen! (Second heatwave Aug 11 and people are just getting on with it.)
A scientific review has concluded that depression is not caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, and may be more closely linked to stressful life events. (The Week)
The anti-woke are just anxious old people who don’t like new words, according to Caitlin Moran.
A feature of so many of the candidates has been a strange desire to disown the fact that they've been part of a governing party for twelve years, to talk as though they are victims of some notional alternate "progressive" regime from which they propose to liberate the population. (@conbrunstrom)
Lots of things are disgusting, last week of July.
Much sneering about the Wagatha Christie verdict. Competitive apathy. How can these “nobodies” afford agents?
People calling Keir Starmer “Keith”. Like calling George Osborne “Gideon”.
GOAT is an acronym for something – but what?
Those women who try and chuck a short-haired woman out of the public toilets – they're as real as the women who shout abuse at men who hold doors open for them, aren't they? August. (And this seems to have stopped happening, Novmber.)
Doggo, kiddo and now froggo...
First there was the text-only Internet, then it became far more widespread with pages and pictures and it became the Web. Inexplicably, it is now the Internet again.
High energy prices forecast and everyone remembers the good old days of frost flowers on the windows – and chilblains. The girl who woke up to find her hair frozen to the pillow trumps them all. (They used to tell us not to go to bed with wet hair. Perhaps this was why.)
People see nothing wrong with exploiting and mocking small children in GIFs and memes without their consent. Perhaps one day they’ll get it, just as people slowly got that it was wrong to be cruel to animals.
“Cower” is popular week of 2022-08-20. Perhaps because Liz Truss misused it: “We will not cower to the ECHR.” She meant something like “bow” or “kowtow”.
When did men become “dudes”? I think I like it, I think I’ll buy it.
Is a “cheem” an idiot? As for “cheugy”.
Fuel crisis. People talking as if “no central heating” meant “no heating”. Poor dears, they don’t know about the other kinds.
If floods in Pakistan have killed 1,100 people and destroyed X acres of farmland, there’s no need to say they’re “devastating”. Is it too much to ask? Probably, when the devastation has been on such a scale.
August 30: It's August and, of course, the supermarkets are already selling Xmas pudding. (@LeoHickman)
Twitter calls them “notifications’, so why does everyone call them “mentions”?
“Resilience” is passé, it’s all “teaching children critical thinking” now. We’re always planning to teach children something that isn’t “facts”. “Emotional maturity” was fashionable for a time. Or was it “emotional intelligence”? Also “teaching children how to learn”. I am skeptical of all such drives.
Is “hole up” what we used to say instead of “hunker down”?
Goodbye, Your Majesty.
Educated, intelligent friends putting the Republican view, while others say “I agree, well done for being brave enough to state these views publicly”.
Instant rumours: All those ennobled in the Queen’s lifetime must hand back their titles. A group of Irish dancers performed a celebratory jig in front of Buckingham Palace when the news was announced.
King Charles III is acceding to the throne, not ascending to it.
Just a few faint moans about the flowers: Why kill flowers? They’d be better off used as compost (they will be). And what about food banks?
What to say about the Queen’s death: I was surprised to find I was so emotional. I thought she was immortal. (Les bons bourgeois are terrified of having the same feelings as the hoi polloi.)
Twitter and other social media areas are moaning about “passed” for “died”.
People wheeling out “How can you sincerely mourn for someone you’ve never met?” as if they were the first person to think it.
Also asking “I planned to do [anodyne activity] today – will people think it’s disrespectful?”
The crowds at the Queen’s funeral were, as we were repeatedly told, “good-humoured”.
Has “dragged” replaced “owned”?
Foxes in charge of henhouses: The SNP has employed a man who threatened violence to “terfs and transphobes” as Equality Officer.
It's so telling that some people think "It won't make you popular!" is a decent response to child safeguarding concerns. See also "Rowling could have just retired on her riches and STFU". (@glosswitch)
Someone on Twitter dithering about getting their fourth Covid jab. Very “Yes but I didn’t inhale”.
2022-10-20 Coalition of chaos – now the revolving door of chaos! (Braverman, Starmer)
People making air-fryer jokes and “lots of tabs open for months” jokes. Air fryers are privileged and middle class, you see, and they don’t work on working-class food. It’s an American thing. (I just scream “bookmark frequently visited sites!”)
Penny Mordaunt says “ge’ing” a couple of times and suddenly she’s speaking “Mockney”.
Rishi Sunak will be our next Prime Minister and people on Twitter are saying “Yes, but Disraeli was white, and Sephardi Jews aren’t an ethnic group”.
Someone points out that teenagers lack a youth movement like beatniks, hippies, punks, Goths, emo.
Elon Musk has bought Twitter and Twitter erupts with “The doom has come upon us! Twitter’s days are numbered! Woe!”. (We all join mastodon and retire baffled, and Twitter continues on its merry way.)
Someone suggests women call themselves “the Uterati”.
purity politics (It’s the 80s all over again.)
sock puppet (what the Americans call glove puppets) has become just “sock”, as in “sock account” on Twitter.
Uh-oh, rationality is tainted by “coloniality” and other methods of arriving at the truth are equally valid, or something... Not seen such silly nonsense since the feminism of the 70s which dismissed logic as “linear and hence phallic” and the whole of science as a “triumphalist narrative by the white-coated priesthood”. I mean “science is just another competing narrative”. Oh and it was all just a “paradigm” which was about to be overtaken by a new paradigm that would admit UFOs, faith healing, Jung, homeopathy, astrology and whatever you wanted to believe. Now statistics are tainted because they were used to support eugenics. I remember when we shouldn’t believe in Darwin because he led to “social Darwinism”, meaning that the fittest survived because they were superior.
Rabbit in headlights popular November.
Michelle Obama is a “narcissist” because she’s only famous because she’s married to a prominent man; she has changed her hairstyle (to braids); and explained the US public weren’t “ready” for natural hair while she was First Lady. It’s a shame she felt like that. Her daughter has braids too and they both look wonderful. Meghan also is a “narcissist” – what a coincidence.
The Fediverse thinks everything is transphobic. (What are future historians going to think of this sentence, 100 years from now?)
Expulsion of woman from Holyrood transgender debate for wearing suffragette colours sparks global boom in feminist scarf sales.
ERG loses 2/3 of its paid-up members, says the Byline Times.
The Women’s Equality Party is running out of members and money after admitting men.
goblin mode: Staying at home in bed all day binge-watching TV and eating junk food. Never getting up and dressed. People probably did this already but now it has a name.
@jk_rowling funds a women’s rape crisis centre, @indiawilloughby compares her to Goebbels. (@Sorelle_Arduino)
More here, and links to the rest.
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