Monday 5 December 2022

The Demon Drink 5

Can we retire the expression “enjoying a drink”? Also "tipple" in the context of old people?

Alcohol is the only drug you seem to have to apologise for not taking. (Adrian Chiles)

I don’t drink, which sometimes makes it hard to meet people. (

It’s very difficult not to drink here. Everyone is like, “Drink! Drink!”. You can’t let your glass get low because they’ll fill it. And if you say no they get angry. (American girl who married an English toff, Times 2016)

I didn’t drink for most of last year and I really noticed how the rest of the world revolves around it. I was treated with suspicion by people when I said I didn’t drink, and it became the only thing people could talk about when it was revealed. Being a non-drinker around people who love booze weirdly makes it your problem – the drinkers start to feel self-conscious and inspired to recount to you, sometimes in great detail, their own relationship with booze, how they couldn’t live without it and all the advantages of getting out of your skull. They can’t understand why you would stop and quiz you about it, becoming very personal – not to mention hyper-sensitive – very quickly. I spent so much of my life trying to work out who I was and what the best version of myself could be... building your whole world around drinking – rather than socialising or having fun, which don’t necessarily need booze – is not a personality substitute. If anything, it robs you of your character. Your anecdotes become tales of stupid things you did when drunk, or stories about how you can’t actually remember what you did...  It was only when I stopped drinking that I saw the adult world for what it really was... my main takeaway from being sober is that drunk people are absolute a*holes and terminally boring. (

We have a drink problem in the UK. Might it help if pensioner TV stopped using alcohol as a cheap laugh?

This discussion group with a friend – does it take place in a pub? (Alexander Armstrong, Pointless. The answer was “no”.)

The grain was used for bread, and more importantly for beer! (Antiques Road Trip)

You’ve brought along a bottle and you’re looking for a party. Everybody likes a tot of whisky. (Anita Manning, Flog It!. OK the item was a bottle of whisky.)

Was that pre or post opening the wine? (Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb)

Bargain Hunt contestant: And have a glass of wine after.
Charlie Ross: I bet you need one after boogie bouncing!

What’s funnier than an alcoholic bear, after all? (Eric Knowles, Bargain Hunt)

Tim Wonnacott: What do you like about Italy?
Contestant: The people, the culture, the food...
His daughter: THE WINE!
All: Ha ha ha.

Eric Knowles: Do you do a lot of meditating when you’re sitting on the riverbank fishing?
Bargain Hunt Contestant: We do a lot of drinking!
PEALS of laughter from all within earshot. 

Ladies don’t usually like tankards... but I know a couple of ladies who could empty a bottle of Pinot Grigio out of there! (Antiques Roadshow, 2019)

Invite family and friends around and let the hours fly by, enjoy sitting in the conservatory come rain or shine with a glass or two or just for some well-deserved peace and quiet. (Estate Agents’ details_

Pick a room and just move straight in. You don't even need to lift a finger here once you’re unpacked as all has been done ready for so grab a glass of whatever you fancy and just sit back and relax. (Haart estate agents)

I like a bit of champagne.
Don’t we all, darling?
(Bargain Hunt)

David Harper, as contestants pick up a decanter: But what are you going to do with it?
Contestants: Fill it with wine! We Australians love our wine!

I think those two would enjoy a tipple together. (Paul Martin on Flog It! David Harper is talking to an elderly lady who has brought in an alcoholometer. “Waste of good gin – I’d rather drink it!” says David.)

Giving up vodka at 80 as a health kick: this is the sort of “ageing” I can embrace. (The Times on Jilly Cooper saying she’d been “drunk for a fortnight” to celebrate her birthday – on wine, not vodka.)

Paul Martin: What do you like if you don’t like brooches?
Punter: I like going to the pub.
Paul Martin: No comment. (But at least he didn’t laugh or twinkle.)

Woman describes sequence dancing: And then you hold hands and twiddle around.
Tim Wonnacott: And then do you have a gin and tonic?
Woman: Oh, no, we’re old dears, we can’t go out like that!

Britain’s oldest woman has died at the ripe old age of a hundred and something. She puts her longevity down to “a regular glass of sherry”! (BBC Breakfast,  2016)

It’s very tempting, Gaynor, isn’t it? (Dickinson’s Real Deal. Gaynor is selling a bottle of champagne.)

Ooh I think I need a gin. (Woman told her clock is worth the price of a car, Antiques Roadshow)

I think we need some tea.
And some whiskey.
Ha ha ha!

Jamie’s doing all the hard work, and I’m sitting at the table with a glass of wine... ha ha ha ha! (Escape to the Country)

Two restorers on The Repair Shop are renovating a giant teddy bear in a field: Wondering what time the picnic hamper is going to arrive. Nice glass of red?

He looks as if he’s had a heavy night out, which is perfectly appropriate for the night before Christmas. (John Kay on BBC Breakfast on Santa cakes)

Alcoholics Anonymous

No comments:

Post a Comment