Similes 6

What is that thing actually like?

Fabric considered suitable for larger ladies "like pelmets from a static caravan circa 1992". (Sali Hughes)

I looked at the letter like a horse looking at a paper bag. (GN)

I kind of clung to him like a koala to a eucalyptus tree. (Model Penelope Tree)

A ballot paper the size of a small tablecloth.

Last night was spectacular. It was as if a giant unicorn filled a pipe with glimmer and plutonium and blew the smoke over the Icelandic sky. (Yrsa Sigurdardottir ‏@YrsaSig)

You kept sighing and shaking your head like a cross primary school teacher. (Tony Robinson on watching Skyfall with a friend.)

Went to @OfficialAdils for the first time last night. Great food and, as my brother-in-law put it, naans the size of bath mats. (Rick ‏@FlipChartRick)

Carpets, chairs and me covered in glitter, and I can't get it off. It's like pretty radioactive fallout. (@Tony_Robinson Dec 22)

Now the sun is setting, the trees are red like Martian weed or axolotl gills. (Regular Frog @FrogCroakley)

Baby stingrays look like raviolis stuffed with tiny damned souls. (@Globe_Pics)

She seemed to have arrived perfectly formed, as if she had hatched from a marble egg. (Hilary Mantel on Anita Brookner's debut in 1981)

Nightingales – if you told me it was an elf playing the flute I wouldn’t be surprised. (Ray Mears)

It was trite, banal and recalled a team-building exercise at a job where everyone is about to quit. (032.com on the Tate Modern’s extension)

The days skim by like a boat made of papyrus. (The Book of Job)

The salad couldn’t help tasting like some kind of Venusian breakfast cereal. (Giles Coren)

I bought earphones from Poundland & it sounds like all my favourite artists are singing into a haunted bucket. (John ‏@UpturnedBathtub)

I know so many offices that look like derelict army barracks. (M. v. Aufschnaiter ‏@mva_1000)

Silence fell like a bagful of feathers. (Raymond Chandler)

More here, and links to the rest.