There is a sharp transition… from single adult to married adult.
Each stage has a certain optimal time. It is no use trying to rush children into adulthood, as is so common among people obsessed with success. Neither is it possible to slow the pace or to try to protect our children from the demands of life.
Our families mostly just reflect our society and culture.
Some family members can be swallowed by the others and not allowed a separate identity. (paraphrase)
Withdrawing families… most notable for [their] cool indifference, if not cold hatefulness. (Common among bourgeoisie and in northern Europe.) Parents are very demanding of children… punishment is cold blooded, done “for your own good”. A culture may use guilt and withdrawal of affection.
Self image develops between four and six. This is… the me as others see me. This is the impression I make on others, my look, my social esteem or status, my sexual identity.
The single most important thing seems to be social acceptance. If you do not have a circle of friends, in the teenage world you are nothing. For many teenagers, whether they are isolated is due to a family move or social inhibition, physical abnormalities or not meeting local standards of attractiveness, not being accepted is a cause of depression and sometimes suicide…
Ego identity means knowing who you are and how you fit in to the rest of society. It requires that you [mold a suitable self image] that your community finds meaningful.
(All by psychologist Erik Erikson)
Social awkwardness is what we feel when the situation threatens our goal of being accepted by others.
Moments of feeling awkward... included times when participants didn't know what was expected of them or what the social rules were.
When a social norm was broken (e.g. one person interrupted another; someone infringed on another's personal space).
A social standard wasn't obtained (e.g. a person stumbled with their speech, there was a long silence).
Norms around eating were broken (e.g. spilling food from mouth while eating).
Negative social judgements were made by one person towards another, either explicitly or implicitly (e.g. by pulling a face).
When names were forgotten or people weren't recognised.
There were also five kinds of moment when social awkwardness plunged. This included: when people were sharing common interests, when one person helped another, when one person was positive about another, and humour. It's notable that a lot of the humour was actually about social awkwardness - joking about it seemed to make it go away. (BPS Research Digest)
There's a hunger for countries to understand how they're perceived by others. (@humayusuf)
After a month or so, ask your partner if they’re still dating others. If they’re not – and you’re not either – you can then easily talk about dating each other exclusively. (Relationship expert from match.com)
Great human cliches: a single man approaching 30 finding his reservoir of drinking partners evaporating. (@entschwindet)
English is not about what you say, but how you say it. German is both, but more the former… As for saying what you mean, Germans have rightly realised that sugar coating is best reserved for cakes. (How to Be German in 20 Easy Steps, store.hipstery.com)
Stalin hated ideas. Stalin hated anything he couldn’t control. (Museum Secrets)
One purpose of your brain is to anticipate events. You decide how to behave largely on the basis of the outcomes you expect, and these expectations alter your experience of yourself and the world. (New Scientist, 6 Oct 2012)
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