Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Jobs You Never Knew Existed 3

Now in mini e-book form:

actor who plays corpse in crime reconstructions
aerial photographer/cinematographer
anti-holiday organiser: offer weekend breaks at Little Chefs, or drab bungalows by motorways in northern France. Get a real sense of the life of the people with a week in a Paris banlieue, miles from any narrow cobbled streets, bustling markets, flourishing artists’ quarters or vibrant old towns.
art looter (“clandestine excavator”)
astroturfer: fake blog commenter who adopts 70 personae to push corporate viewpoint

birdseed grower
cake designer
for 5,000 royal wedding invitations
costumed guide at London Dungeon
creator of fake identities for people who want to disappear

forensic cleaner

forensic IT
forger of disabled parking badges
Irish war piper

kennel maid
lookalike stand-in for star
to turn up to boring celeb appearances (remember the rumour that the royal family had these?)

manufacturer of garden mirrors
Mary’s Tea Parties
– she brings a tea party to you, wherever you are
: The truth is, if you can afford it, you can have your own private uniformed force, and your own highly experienced, highly trained and fully resourced private CID. Energy firms, just like many other companies, seek cost-effective solutions to issues that can damage revenue streams, branding and assets. It's a rational business decision for them to use every available legal tool to manage threats to their operations. Deal with it, because we're here to stay. Peter Bleksley Guardian Feb 2011

oyster pirate: the writer Jack London was both an oyster pirate and an oyster policeman (in San Francisco Bay)
queuer (for new gadgets/clothes etc) - hold place for people who don’t have time to queue
stable girl
writer of healing poems for those who have lost pets

More here and here. And here. And here.

And in G.K. Chesterton's The Club of Queer Trades. My favourite is the man who makes egg-shaped pod houses to be installed in trees (accessed by rope ladder).

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