Wednesday 9 May 2012

Jobs You Never Knew Existed 4

Now in mini e-book form:

bespoke wedding jewellery designer
blagger (see NotW scandal July 13, 2011)
corporate house dick: you spy on the employees through their computer use
pet diet designer
theme park queuing technology designer
fake log designer
ebay drop shipper
infomercial writer

home manager: member of faux family which lives in a (furnished) empty house that’s on sale – to give it a lived-in look. Apparently empty houses don’t sell. Showhomes of Nashville, Tenn. Times May 5 2011

MP portrait dealer "In his early twenties, Philip Mould started buying cheap portraits of lords and members of parliament that had found their way to America, and selling them back to the House of Commons Advisory Committee on Works of Art at a profit."

 Join a dating site, flirt with several people and persuade them to give you money for operations, flight to the UK etc.

Join the police, infiltrate a radical movement, and send in invented reports. Offer to mislead the police. Tell the police you’ve misled them etc etc etc

lead tours of artists studios in Shoreditch, Homerton etc
lead tours of modernist architecture in your town
make exotic food to order and photograph it
make fake Titanic memorabilia and sell on the internet
make very grand sundials that sell for circa five grand
make heated foot mats
manufacture dummy birds of prey to scare off pigeons
medical ghostwriter

National Trust room dresser (they get books for the shelves from a central NT book depository and dress rooms with what the person who once owned it “would have” read.)
organize safaris to kill endangered species

police lip reader
run a pet crematorium
run an olde worlde farm with free range hens and ducks and do BandB and let guests make hay, feed animals etc (they exist – they’re called haycations)
run care homes
run fly-fishing courses
sell ethnic food from a van
set up a pawn shop
source books to be used as décor (GA Henty and school stories seem to be in)
start a Ponzi scheme
tree house designer and builder
van customiser
visit European music festivals and steal valuables from tents
witch – cast spells for others (advertise online)

All genuine from CareerBuilder:
A: Actor for haunted house
B: Bingo announcer
C: Clown for rodeos
D: Drawbridge tender
E: Eye glass buffer
F: Fingerprint analyzer
G: Glass sculptor
H: Hot rod builder
I: Interpreter for government agency
J: Jelly donut filler
K: Karate instructor
L: Lifeguard at nude beach
M: Military role player (played Iraqi citizen for military sensitivity training)
N: Note taker for college students
O: Ocean scuba guide
P: Phone psychic
Q: Quiz writer for competitions
R: Rescue squad for pets
S: Stand-in bridesmaid (for weddings where the bride didn't know enough people)
T: Telemarketer for a cemetery
U: Urinalysis observer
V: Voice-over specialist for movies
W: Window washer for skyscrapers
X: Xmas tree decorator
Y: Youth boot camp instructor for juvenile offenders
Z: Zoo artificial inseminator

More here, here and here.

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